I’m kind of glad that I’m keeping myself a little too busy to focus on what’s happening in the news right now. I mean, I’m still following it well enough, and wow, shit is nuts. Shit has been nuts since… well, always, but even grading on the curve of “modern politics”, like, is there anyone left who still thinks that this whole thing is actually working?
I don’t want to get into it tonight, but I just want to plant a thought here, what I hope will happen and what I worry will happen. I don’t have a prediction, I really can’t see where things are going. What I want to happen is for this and all the other stuff culminating in the end of another batshit era is that people finally wake up. You know, how the term “woke” was originally intended. Our collective nightmare was not our doing, but its perpetuation is. We don’t have to live this way. We don’t have to generate all of the value, toil our lives away, just to line the pockets of the rich. We don’t have to constantly feed a loop that not only makes them richer but also, even when it appears that we’ve made gains, only serves to further separate us from them, and by so doing make us truly poorer even when nominally or even relatively better off. Enough of us could finally see that we’ve been fed a steady diet of lies that just served to create a new aristocracy, that party lines don’t really matter, and even the most hot button issues, though they do absolutely matter, aren’t the real issues. We’ll wrangle in the rich and powerful, shut down the system that allows the evil to become so powerful, and finally start living for ourselves and each other in our best, most nurturing ways. We can do this, we already have all of the building blocks and are more than capable of providing all of the necessary resources. We just need the will.
But I worry that is not what is going to happen. I worry that things are just going to get worse. We may have a brief reprieve, though I doubt it, where an FDR type leader will recognize the pressure is too high and instead of having the courage to usher in a new era of equity, prosperity, and kindness, they open the valve just enough to quiet the majority back down. We won’t have a golden age, but it could be covered in gold leaf. Or, like so many tacky decorations new to the White House, gold spray paint. We need this change, even if things weren’t so crazy right now. The crazy is just the piss icing on the shit cake that has always been, and the only way that we can move forward without eating shit is to make a new cake. If that seems extreme, perhaps it is, but many, including reliable experts, believe that even throwing out the cake isn’t enough. Maybe I’m just too naive, but I don’t think we need to throw out the plate. I think the plate needs to be cleaned, but we can use it again. I’m hoping the water in the sink is potable, but this metaphor is well past its expiration, so I’ll dispense with it for now.
My real worry is that it will be much worse. The people too riled up, especially on the Right, are just too hopped up on that malice, and they might not be able to come down. I refuse to equivocate about the Left like so many others do – one side wants literally everyone but themselves imprisoned or dead, and this simply is not true of the other. I’m pretty lefty myself, and I can tell you that the majority of those that are, including (especially, really) people further to the left from me believe very strongly in the power of Restorative Justice, which isn’t interested in capital punishment or the over-packed carceral system. But that’s not the side that will come about, because the Centerist is always waiting for the next fear to be just enough to convert them into the Fascist who’s been living in their hearts all along. But I’ve already gotten way more into things than I wanted, so let’s leave things here for today.
Let’s check in where I’m at, which is what this was meant to be. Okay, I didn’t get in as much exercise or studying as I wanted to last week. I did get in enough of each to maintain momentum, so it’s all good. Between the gas leak, the cold, getting busy with chores and tasks, and just not entirely being able to concentrate, I was really in danger of getting behind. So I’m taking it as a win that I didn’t. I spent some of that time that I couldn’t concentrate on what I wanted to on other productive things, including working out a more concrete plan and schedule. I need to do something similar this week in regards to health insurance enrollment and school plans. In fact, I need to start dedicating a portion of every week to school plans until I’ve got that all worked out and nailed down. I should get something down on paper so I can get an idea of what needs doing, now that I’m thinking about it.
The gas is back on, which means I once again have heat, a working stove, and hot water. In case you missed it, check out last Monday’s post.
I worried about my neighbors, some of which had kids and had nowhere else to go while the gas was out. I’ve had it in the back of my head what I might be able to do for them in the future, but outside of spending money that I don’t have, I can’t think of much. The power was still on, so most of us that stayed in the building just got a space heater or two and used our alternate cooking methods – microwave, slow cooker, air fryer, that sort of stuff. I didn’t ask anyone how they were handling showers, but I was bathing in the sink. I hadn’t done that since my mid-twenties, and let me tell ya’, it sucked just as much now as it did back then. I’m a single weirdo veteran, so all of this was, you know, fine. But pretty shit for everyone else, and that really doesn’t sit right with me.
Anyway, before that gets me all up in my treehugging feelings, let’s get back to my check-in of my me. When the hot water was back to full capacity, I indulged in a truly glorious shower. With the stove working again, I also celebrated with a nice steak. Ribeye, just an 8 ouncer, but a very nice and well marbled cut. I carefully rationed out my days’ salt to be able to season it pretty well (relatively speaking), along with sauteed lacinato kale, roasted green beans, and even a massive potato. Oh, what’s that, did someone also make a wonderful mushroom pan sauce from the fond and drippings? How about a delightful horseradish cream sauce? You bet your sweet ass I did. And I somehow managed to keep momentum on my weight loss. How rad is that?
We are coming upon the holidays, and while I’m not planning to pig out, I’m also not planning to hold myself back too much during them. I’ve had some wins this year, which has been nice, but I could also use a couple rewards and breaks as well. At this point, I’ll be happy if I finish the year still around my current weight, but I think there is a very strong chance that I’ll hit my goal of getting below 240 lbs, and I’d like that very much. I feel like I met my initial running goal well enough for now, so we’re going to count it. I can’t believe just how much I’m feeling the cold on my walks these days, so I think the expectations of my running progress need to go on hold until things warm up again. Fitness goals aside, the rest of the year is focused on finished those early credits, spending time with friends and family, and wrapping up any outstanding items lingering on my “TODO” list.
End note: the “Bubba” thing can’t be real, right? Yeah, but we can dream. You can’t stop us from dreamin’.