Looks like I have my first missed post in this era. I’m not going to beat myself up for it, but I do need to rethink whether or not I continue to have expected posts. I really like the idea that I’m going to have a scheduled, weekly post. I like that being consistent and of a consistent type of content. More specifically, since my health has become paramount, I like keeping it oriented around that, and I like the set day being Friday. So I do plan to keep that up, though also I think that, like the routine I was lamenting last week, the idea or my execution of it needs a little tune up.
Alright, this is the second post in a row that I include a weight measurement after saying that I wouldn’t. Can’t be helped. I got down to 255. I think that’s a fleeting 255, and I’ll get to why in just a sec, but I’m still quite pleased. It’s incredibly frustrating to feel stuck in a weight plateau, even when all of my other vitals and measurements are telling me that things are going well. So I was very happy with that. My scale measure 254 at one point, but I’m not counting it. I expect to go back up a little this week, maybe even all the way back up to 260, which will be a real let down, but I have to be ready for that very real possibility or I may have a crisis of motivation.
I sort of fasted. I’m not sure where to mention this, but I think it’s worth mentioning, so I’m just going to squeeze it in here – I first started seeing a bit of difference on my scale before I fasted. I saw 258 on Thursday, even though I hadn’t been eating great. I mean, it’s not like I was housing pizza rolls or whatever, but you know, I wasn’t on my best behavior.
I had not planned on fasting, but I got pretty close and maybe even did fast by some definitions for a couple of days in a row. I got really busy, but not the bad kind of busy I’d been in for the many years of my previous employment. Instead, while my time was packed, it was packed entirely with things that I wanted to do. And it felt pretty great. I studied, worked on projects, spent time with friends and family, exercised, wrote, played some music, and did some art. I cleaned, which I struggle to keep consistent with, but this week I was able to get into a real chill zone while doing it. That was pretty dope. The only drawback was that I didn’t do a lot of cooking. That’s a bummer for a number of reasons, the top two for me are that it means a higher risk of eating something that could hurt me (not a super high risk, I can read a label), and also I enjoy cooking. Not being able to put a little time in the kitchen is bit of a bummer. But I did make eggs a couple of mornings, so at least there was that.
I suppose that wasn’t actually the only drawback. I mean, I did get hungry to an unhealthy point more than once. I didn’t ignore the hunger, which is why I’m not definitively declaring that I fasted. It’s more like a taste of fasting… odd phrasing. I have done actual fasting in past attempts to lose some weight and it always went poorly. I felt like hot garbage the whole time that I did it. On top of that, I didn’t make much progress to my goal, and quickly rebound right after finishing.
That rebound is a big part of my skepticism I mentioned earlier of my drop to 255. There’s also the logic of it, like I got in some decent eats yesterday, including some turkey meatballs and pasta salad at my brother’s house, and a big bowl of ramen with gooey egg, murky broth, and springy noods last night. I started today with eggs, toast, cream cheese, and avocado. Not unhealthy, but also certainly not low cal. On the other hand, I have been eating pretty healthy by most measures for months, and I do feel like my body is otherwise pretty happy with that. Lots of fruit and veg. Peaches have been showing up lately, and I’m pretty happy about that, too. So while I can buy the 258 number before the mini-fast, it’s likely that the additional drop was really just that I was on empty, and now that I’m back to normal, that won’t last. Given previous experience, I also have to prepare myself for a possible over-correction. Those really suck.
This little accidental experiment has also been helpful in instructing me on what not to do. The truth is, I have been seriously considering a real go at a fast for a while. Things are different for me now than they were during the previous attempts, so results and side effects would likely be different as well. I can’t yet speak to results, they are still settling in, but the side effects were definitely different. Every previous attempt was just terrible. I felt horrible the whole time, I was super irritable, I had awful bathroom times, and at the end of the fast I felt so sick to my very empty stomach that I had a hard time getting calories back in me. Then as soon as I stopped feeling so ill, I just binged. Completely crushed whatever I had at home and often ordered in some real gut bombs.
But none of that happened this time. I mostly felt pretty great throughout. I wasn’t frustrated at the struggle of not eating, in fact I wasn’t thinking about it. It wasn’t until Sunday morning when I was quite strangely both very happy and also kinda weepy that I realized, “Oh, shit, I haven’t eaten anything but fruit and treats in almost 24 hours.” Fast forward past the aforementioned ramen and I was feelin’ fuckin’ great.
I don’t know what that means for me going forward, but it’s certainly something to reflect on.
Anyway, that’s the Fit Check I owed to this blog, a few days late but I think worth it. Barring another event, I expect to check back in on my fit this Friday as scheduled. We’ll see what’s stuck. Alright, I gotta study. Peace.