Coffee

That’s right, coffee.  I am into it.  I should really write a more robust (get it?… ugh) post about what’s so rad about coffee, where it comes from, roast selection, etc.  I’m not gunna do that today.  I’ll likely talk about my likes and dislikes at some other point, but I’m currently in an objective mood.  I’m in the mood to get shit done and I want to keep that mood going.  I think keeping focused on things that do or help me do just that will make me keep doing that voodoo that you do.  Doo doo.

My standard drip coffee maker is now broken and my French press is a bit small for regular use, so I’ve been looking for other coffee brewing options.  Some of them seem pretty great and some seem very novel.  Those stove-top espresso machines look really interesting, but I’ve read far too many reviews of them not living up to their advertisement.  And a few of them exploding.  So…

Current favored options, in no particular order:

I actually gave the Aeropress to my brother for Christmas.  I already knew it was good before I gave it to him, but didn’t know how good.  After giving it a try, I am completely convinced that coffee brewed from the standard drip coffee maker is sub-par.  After reading up on how pros use the French press, I’ve started getting some excellent cups of coffee out of mine.  Maybe I’ll share some instructions at some point… maybe that’ll be my first video for this blog.  Pro’lly not.

The Chemex seems almost like a magic beaker supported by a pack of liars.  I mean, maybe I just don’t understand how that thing actually works, but it just looks like a manual drip.  Maybe that’s all you really need.  And by the way, I’m not accusing the makers of the Chemex liars.  I’m saying that about all of the 5-star reviews all over the internet.

The Toddy and the Yama seem more novelty than practical usage.  I’m willing to believe that the Yama delivers some potent and smooth coffee, but it seems way to involved to be a daily brew thing.  The Toddy seems like it could be really good for me.  It’s a cold brew system that is suppose to work overnight.  You fill the top part with grounds and cold water, put it on top of the carafe, pop it in the fridge and just let it do its thing.  In the morning, you have a carafe full of super-concentrated coffee which you can use for all manner of drinks.  To enjoy hot, you poor some of the concentrate into your mug and cap the rest off with hot water.  You could also just microwave it.  I guess.  The thing is, the Toddy is fucking huge.  Even if it fits in my fridge, and it might not (I haven’t measured), it will take up a lot of room in there.  Room that I should be using for healthy stuff like milk, fruit, and yogurt.  On the other hand, I could brew a week’s worth of coffee in one go.  And, of course, people have very good things to say about the coffee it produces.

So right now, the French press is about a B+, A-.  Standard drip coffee maker is a C-, at best.  The Aeropress pumped out some A+ coffee.

Additionally, I’m checking out electric kettles and coffee grinders.  The only kettle I have is glass and proving a bit impractical.  My grinder is perfectly competent, but it’s not great.  It’s one of the $20 dealies, which anyone other coffee snob knows isn’t really a grinder.  It’s a chopper.  The worst part is coarseness control, which is entirely by feel and eye.  If I over-shoot my grind, I could clog up the brewing apparatus.  Plus, as it isn’t a real grinder, it can’t ever make a truly consistent grind.  There will always be bits that are bigger and smaller than the grind I want, which will ultimately dick-up the brew.

tl;dr – I’m replacing my crappy coffee maker with some undetermined awesomeness.

Home Decor

I want a really huge house.  I also want a really awesome, unique, urban penthouse.  And a private island with a rad house on it and a super-yacht to take me there.  Think Hearst Castle, the penthouse of The Pierre Hotel, and I don’t know… thing.

Now that’s good and ridiculous, and I’ll never have even one of those homes, but a man can dream.   I live in a modest, two bedroom condo in a middle-class neighbored.  In a few years, I plan to move into either a bigger home (townhouse, single family) with a lot more room or another condo with a great location.  I’m sharing this all mostly so you have an idea of what kind of person I am, but I’m not really sure that it will help at all.

The thing is, on the occasion that I check out crazy shit like those places, I start thinking about the style and decor of my own home.  I have two styles that I like a lot, but they are diametrically opposed.

Style 1 – Old School Classy/Dark Wood

  • Big, heavy furniture
  • Mahogany/Black Walnut/Black & White Marble
  • A big office with a huge, immovable desk and endless library
  • Velvet and leather upholstery
  • Big ol’ fireplace
  • Chaise lounges/club chairs/ottomans/armoires
  • Giant, heavy, dark table in the dining room

Style 2 – Ultramodern Minimalist/Clean

  • Firstly and most importantly – NOT PO MO! Because post modern blows, and so do you
  • Wide open spaces
  • Glass, metal, white marble/granite
  • Futuristic, to a point.  I like wall, floor, seem, and recessed lighting.  I don’t like those stupid ball-chair things
  • Things can be folded away
  • mesh office chair
  • Wireless/hidden wires
  • TV/speakers wall mounted
  • wall mounted shelves

I think this leaves me with one option:  I need my home to be more like Flynn’s mountain escape in TRON: Legacy.  Minus the weird light-up floor and in-wall shelves.  I liked that movie way the fuck too much.

I have more thoughts on interior design, mostly about what I’m doing to do to my walls (paint/wallpaper) and home much I hate post modern furniture.  Also, I want this – fuckin’ crazy thing – so I can be a Bond villain.  And if we’re fantasizing, I’d also like to have something likeThe Pinnacle in Montanna.  As a family thing.  Like something that my brother and I could bring our families to and invite parents/cousins/friends to for winter and skiing vacations.

Any thoughts on interior design?  Have a dream home you’d like to share?  Feel free to hit up the comments section, or tweet me – twitter.com/onehobowine.  Or email, I guess.  hobowine@gmail.com

Alright, let’s talk some filth

I hope that regular readers have been enjoying my 2010 wrap-up and lists and shit, but I know that some people came here for something else.  Some folks want to read about my sexual exploits, failures, and thoughts from my dirty, nasty, dripping mind.

I’ve been thinking a lot about online dating.  Well… online “dating”.  You know – trolling for booty.  It’s a lot better on the internet then the traditional way.  I’ve heard the same about actual dating, but I can’t really speak to that.  I absolutely know that getting some booty through the miracle of the internet is way the fuck better than picking someone up in public.  Fuck bars.  Fuck clubs.  Fuck coffee shops.  If I were in school or worked for a company where shit really didn’t matter, that would be cool.  I guess.  But the internet.  Man.  It’s fuckin’ great.

Alright, let’s say that you’re looking to pick up some breezy online.  Find a website/method.  There are several, and I’ll likely discuss them at a later date.  Fill out your profile, and be honest (or at least 90% honest).  This is stupid important.  You’ll get more hits if it’s filled out and you’ll get less b.s. and mismatches if you fill it out honestly.  The less honest you are, the greater the chance of losing them before “go” or awkwardly disappointing them when the encounter happens.  Then, figure out what really matters to you.  Here’s a short list.

5.  Proximity/Availability

4.  Attitude

3.  Attractiveness

2.  Hygiene

1.  Similar bedtime goals

There are more things that I look for, and that’s not really in order, but that’s just an example.  I also know that some of that is a little vague.  Assuming the chick bothered to fill out herprofile, add a picture, and not lie (90%), I already know half of those five things.  I try to figure out the rest through email.  Some ladies like to take the conversation off of the website, to which I would suggest using an instant message account created ONLY for this use.  In case you didn’t know – everyone is on the internet and many of them are nuckin’ futs.  Before I go to personal email, texting, or phone, I gotta have a few back-and-forths.  I want to be at least reasonably sure that they aren’t going to show up at random or key my shitty car if things didn’t work out.  Then I just try to talk it out until I’m comfortable.  Sometimes it just one exchange.  We clearly click and understand what we’re going to do, we meet up, we knock some boots, it’s over.  That’s my second favorite (as I don’t like to work for it), but usually those chicks aren’t looking for a regular thing.  The hardest thing to pull off – and my favorite – is a regular thing.

Hygiene is pretty much the only item that you can’t really know, which sucks because it is pretty huge.  You might think that you have a better chance of finding that out at a bar than on the internet, but my findings have been different.  At the bar, you can’t really smell anything but booze, the bar itself, and the collective stink of a bunch of sweaty people in one room.  No matter how scantily clad, you aren’t going to get a look at danger zones.  If the lady gets liquored up enough to flash the box – even if it looks all types of great – you’ve still got a judgement call to make.  You can’t really get all up on it to be sure that it’s safe.  By the way, if you can, that call gets more complicated.  More on that later.  Most hookups that I’ve had from the web have been cleaner, simpler, and just plain better than the sloppy, boozy, slurry, sticky skanks that you take home from the bar at last call.

For one, a lot of ladies post fully nude pictures online.  This is perhaps ill-advised, but that’s for another post.  Pictures will show whether she is shaved and to what degree.  Clothed pictures are best to guess if they at least try to take care of themselves.  The pictures often include some section of their home, and if they bothered to clean it up for the picture.  You can start to make assumptions.  It’s not really fair, but you can’t just get with everyone.  You have to be some kind of discerning.  Emails can fill in a lot of what pictures can’t.  Smart chicks that actually do care about hygiene will take the time to mention it, and mention that dudes need to take care of themselves.  You can’t know how she smells until you’re around her, but you still haven’t made made any real commitments until pants come off.

You can also ask completely inappropriate things through the security of the internet:

“Hey, do you shave?”

“What do you like in bed?”

“Is there anything you absolutely won’t do?”

“What’s your greatest fantasy?”

“Oral, anyone?”

“Will you take it in the butt?”

“Wait, you like to get slapped, you want me to shoot in your face, and you want me to call you ‘Stupid Bitch’?  This seems like a bit much, but alright.  When are you free?”

If you meet someone in a bar, you’re not going to ask them if they are down with oral or anal.  The subject probably isn’t going to come up until you’re already in bed, and that could make the rest of the encounter awkward and crummy.  “Hey, ah… I’m not into that…” is not a good thing to hear or have to say, especially after that thing has been initiated.  There are more innocent things that you might not have even realized could be a problem.  Some chicks don’t like to make out.  Some chicks will only do a certain position.  Online, you can figure out an entire night.  Drinks?  A quick meal?  Order in?  Or just come over and let’s bump uglies?  Yeah.  It’s way more awesome.

I’ve got a lot more to say about this, but this is running a whole lot longer than it should and is a bit scattered… more thoughts on this all later.

What do you think about online dating?  Booty calls?  Such and such?

Chores Are Pretty Suck…

But I guess that I like a few.  To me, a lot of things end up being thought of on a chart or graph, and this is no different.  So think about it like that with me for a sec’ – every chore has its pros and cons.  More to the point, every chore has input, output, and something abstract about the satisfaction that you get from it.

Even more to the point, let’s name our variables.  “Work” is the amount of effort I need to exert in order to complete the given chore.  “Result” is the more objectively, measurable effect of doing that chore.  How clean, neat, and together my home is because of.  “Fulfillment” is the more subjective, abstract effect of getting said chore done – the feeling of accomplishment.  For instance, doing the dishes by hand is a lot of work (if I let it pile up).  However, the level of overall cleanliness of my home is greatly increased by keeping my dishes clean.  Moreover, the act of doing it doesn’t feel like it sucks.  I feel like I’m getting something done, and that feels good.  Doing dishes by machine takes almost no effort and the overall cleanliness factor is the same.  However, I don’t feel like I’ve accomplished anything.  Vacuuming, while sometimes time consuming, basically takes no effort and increases the overall cleanliness of my home by fair margin.  However, for some reason I can’t put my finger on, I don’t feel like I’ve gotten anything done when I do it.  Try figuring that shit out.

tl;dr – Some chores are more important than others, but that doesn’t mean I like doing them or am more happy about them being done.  On a scale of 1 – 10, with ten as the highest, here are how these chores stack up in my mind:

Chore Work Result Fulfillment (MBCI)
Dishes (by hand) 8 9 9 10
Dishes (by machine) 2 9 1 5
Laundry 3 8 5 13
Vacuuming 4 7 1 2
Fixing things 9 3 7 2
Straightening Clutter 4 9 5 11
Organizing 6 5 7 6
Cleaning/disinfecting
Bathroom 6 10 5 8
Kitchen 8 9 8 9
Living room 6 5 5 4
Bedroom 3 3 2 2
Other 5 5 4 4

*MBCI = Most Bestest Chore to do Index

I’m sure there are more chores I haven’t thought of, and maybe I’ll add them to the list at a later date… but not now.

So I just watched some kids make better points than professors and priests on religion…

Lots of them, all over youtube – mostly stemming from the last part of this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vnXRbEvmbOk, and mostly civil and reasonable, and MOSTLY by kids.  Wow.  It makes me feel like we might just have a future again.

I don’t exactly agree with his analogy, but I dig that critical thinking.  I like mental exercises like that and I hate that fundamentalists and extremists shut shit like that down.  I also hate that the scholarly atheists that I once admired as positive religious focal points do the same shit, just in a different way.  Probably the biggest problem that I have with religion (though not like… belief), is how static so much of it is or claims to be (recognizing that a lot has changed over the last thousand years in spite of itself).  And that’s the SAME FUCKING THING THAT I SEE IN SO MANY ATHEISTS!!!

I guess you could call me an atheist.  I used to positively identify myself as one.  I’m sure part of that was the trendiness of it all, though I’d like to think not.  The biggest part was really just realizing that I’ve never really believed.  I grew up with the Bible being pretty present (though not oppressive) and the religious people around me being pretty cool.  I had little knowledge of other religions until middle school and no idea that you could just not have a religion.  As a kid, I thought it was like skin color.  You were just born with one andeveryone was born with one.  None was any better than another and you just got one depending on your parents.  After becoming more aware of other religions and the way a lot of religious people viewed things, I really started to think I wasn’t normal.  It really seemed like everyone really believed everything in their religious scripture and that they all completely believed their religious leaders.  But I didn’t.  I just considered them stories as a kid, and when I started really thinking about them, they didn’t make sense.

Well, some stuff did.  Like I didn’t completely believe that Jesus’ pops was omnipotent and also somehow him… that was a little odd.  However, I did believe that he existed and that at least some amount of the stuff written about him totally happened.  I did believe in magic at the time, so I bought into the water-to-wine bit… but I didn’t buy the resurrection part.  And I didn’t buy any of that Noah’s Ark jazz or Adam and Eve.  I really didn’t even believe that “God” was real, but that it as more of a concept.  I just thought this stuff was like Aesop’s Fables.  Everyone knew it wasn’t real, but we were supposed to read the stuff.  Ponder on what we’ve read.  Discuss it with one another.  Try to derive something meaningful and helpful for our lives from it.

Then I started to see that this wasn’t how everyone felt.  Because of the way information has been delivered to us, it started to seem like everyone actually believed that the Bible (or Koran/Torah/Whateve’s) was completely factual and that’s that.  That scared the shit out of me.  All I could think about was either everyone is crazy and stupid or I am.  In retrospect, I would say that this though deeply disturbed me during my high school years.  Then I started to see that there were people like me (or so I thought).  They, too, didn’t believe.  And this is where shit really goes off the rails for me, and becomes a discussion far too long for today’s post.  Long story short – I slowly and painfully found that I didn’t identify with anyone on religion, and that was horrifying.  A few years ago, I started to find it less horrifying.  Then sometime last year I became very comfortable and happy with my views and the ever-changing state in which I view them… this isn’t making a lot of sense, but more or less I became cool with not agreeing but being able to see and like other people’s views.  Fuck, that just complicated it more.  Fuck it, I give up.

Early this year I started catching people online that actually do feel the way I do.  I consider myself a Humanist.  Partly because I find it positive and more philosophy than religion.  Mostly because Humanist really doesn’t mean shit.  And yeah, probably another part of it is trendiness.  There are Humanist Christians, Humanist Muslims, Humanist [fill in yo’ thang here], and Humanists Atheists.  There isn’t really a central dogma, which is what Atheism is, except that it isn’t.  The dogma is that there positively is no god.  In the west, Atheism has gained another dogma – if you think there is one, you’re a fuckin’ idiot and an asshole.  I can’t dig on that.

So what do I believe?  There is no god in the sense of a personal, omnipotent being that cares about our day to day lives.  There might be a more… existential “god”.  Like a universalwill towards whatever the universe is taking us to (physically, through time, all up in the brain piece, Nirvana [not the band] and shit), but I kinda doubt that as well.  However, we don’t fuckin’ know – and that includes my own smug-assed self.  And furthermore, I wish that I did believe – though not for either questions of “How did we get here” or “Why are we here”.  I think we got here by a natural process.  If ever there was a super-natural or god-ish interference, it was right at the beginning.  Like pre-Big Bang beginning that was all like setting up dominoes.  Let’s just go ahead and call it God.  God was all like, “I got all these Legos, I should do something cool with them.”  When he was all done, he walked away and let it do it’s thing.  Eventually, the Legos started creating other Legos on their own (possibly because of Lego rules that God him/herself set up in the super-pre-beginning) and sooner or later made us.  Maybe God is dead.  Maybe God is just chillin’, watching the cool-assed movie that is The Universe (it was a great Discovery Channel series, by the way).  But I really only put that as a place-holder, because “It was God” only makes more questions for me.  If God made the Legos and put them together, who or what made the God and put it together?  And who or what made God’s God?  “He was always there” doesn’t work for me.  Existence as a whole is basically a logical fallacy, which is my favorite mind-blower that is really tough to cork with anything other than “Shit, I guess it was God” or “I guess there was a starter universe all along”.  Turtles.  All the way down, stupid.

As for “Why are we here”, I don’t think there was an initial reason.  If we our Legos were made by other Legos in a natural process, then the reason we were made is because we best fit the environment we were created in and adapted to.  But I don’t feel an emptiness for living without reason.  There is plenty of reason we can all find to live in our own lives, like family and friends and video games and buttsex.  If you want a bigger reason for us being here, I use the “top of the foodchain” thing.  I mean, we are (and sometimes aren’t really) at the top.  And not just food.  We are the most intelligent on the planet, as far as we know.  We’re definitely making the biggest and quickest differences.  So I’d say that I reason for being here is to be the stewards of our home.  We are here to take care of it and everything on it.  And when we leave it, it will be our responsibility to take care of our solar system.  Quadrant.  Galaxy.  Galactic neighborhood.  Universe.  All that jazz.  If there are other intelligent lifeforms out there (which, come on… there’s gotta be, right?), then we share the responsibilities with them.  If they’re fucking it up, we kill ’em good.  If we’re fucking it up, I’m pretty sure that they’ll kill us good.  But yeah.  We’re here (now) to take care of everyone/thing else and be all cool and shit.  How’s that for a philosophy, bitches?

Also, I think it’s rad that we have different beliefs.  The more I see, the more I agree that variety really is the spice of life.  I don’t want us all to be the same.  I want there to be discussion.  I want there to be something to ponder.  I want there to be a touch of conflict… but let’s all tone it down a good bit.  I don’t know why the fuck we turned a conflict all the way up to eleven.  It sounded best at about four.  We should keep it there.  Add effects peddles where needed.

Oh, and this kid – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RiSgTTcHZqE.  It’s pretty rad how well he(?) summed up some of the way I feel.  Not all of it, but I can totally dig his(?) angle.  Now I gotta piss, get lunch, and get back to work.  Bitches.

Every Driver Sucks at Driving

There’s a trend I’ve recently started noticing on the road that really pisses me off.  I’ll get to that in a sec, but first I’ll admit that I hate other drivers on the road.  I just do, and I’m guessing you do too.  It’s sad, really.  For me, and I’m sure many, a car and the open road are among the greatest pairs ever.  It’s that whole symbol of freedom thing, or some shit like that.  I think that’s why I get salty when I have to share the road with shitty and selfish drivers.  But I should really get to the effing point.

“Swinging Wide” is the best way I can say it.  I’m sure you’ve already got the picture, but I’ll be more clear.  You know that move that semi-trucks do to make a tight turn?  As they approach the turn, they veer the vehicle away from the curb or whatever and then swing into the turn they want to make.  This helps them make the turn, keeps from smashing whatever is inside the curve, and helps avoid having the trailer topple over and spill delicious beer everywhere.  This is a very good practice for any semi-truck driver.  This is a terrible practice for Johnny McJackass and his Toyota Carolla.  Why, then, am I seeing so many regular sized and even FUCKING COMPACT cars “swinging wide” for a normal, everyday turn?  It’s not even the drivers of big-ass pick-ups or unreasonably big SUVs – it’s fuckin’ regular cars only.  What really blows my mind is that I’ve noticed that drivers are both swinging wide before the turn and cutting early while completing a turn (more on that another time).  What the yogart?  Let’s review:

There is no need to swing wide here.  None.

There is EXTRA no reason to turn when there is a separate turning lane, yet I see the bad way all the fuck-fuck time.

I think that every driver has three and only three responsibilities for driving.  I understand that parents behind the wheel also have to deal with the noise machines in the back, but even they can mostly follow these three:

  • Obey the Rules of the Road.
  • Avoid accidents.
  • Don’t Fuck It Up for the Rest of Us.

I follow these, and I’ve not been in an accident in years.  I can’t remember the last time I got a speeding ticket, or any other kind for that matter.  It really is that simple.

Obey the Rules of the Road:

While you should certainly know all of the traffic laws where you drive (your state/any other state you frequent), I’m not saying you have to actually do them.  It’s like keeping speed with the flow of traffic on the highway.  If everyone else jumps off a cliff, go to their now vacant homes and take their stuff.  However, if everyone else is doing 70 MPH on a highway – join ’em.  Especially if you’re in the middle of the pack.

Avoid Accidents:

You know, if you can’t figure this out, just quit.

Don’t Fuck It Up for the Rest of Us:

This is the most important rule.  Are you in the fast lane doing slightly under the speed limit?  You’re fucking it up.  Are you crossing four lanes in one foul sweep?  You’re fucking it up.  Are you swinging wide when there’s no good reason to and have traffic behind you?  You’re fuckin’ it up good.  My plea to all other drivers out there – only swing wide when needed.  Otherwise, you’re fuckin’ the guy behind you.

Got behind early

Let’s try not to make it often.  I just realized that I need to actually approve comments… which maybe I’ll consider turning off for a while.  Anyway, I have a few more bands to make a list for.  I’m also working on some other projects which I guess I’ll talk about here at some point.  And lastly, I have a few things to bitch about.  I’m about half an hour out from leaving work and can’t be bothered to actually work, so I’ll likely screw off on one of those bitch-sessions.

I always wanted to punch a dinosaur in the face.

Trying to convince someone a band is actually really good?

I pretty frequently get into conversations and arguments about taste, particularly about entertainment or food.  Or the relative hotness of a given chick.  Actually, the varying levels and degrees of attractiveness always spin out of control.  Entertainment and food, I think, are a little easier to tackle.

This is gunna be sort of long read, so if you want to skip to the point, just look for TL;DR.

Lately, a lot of people around me have been changing their opinions about certain musicians.  I include myself in this, though I think my opinion changes have been a bit more dramatic then most.  I’ve started liking a few musicians that I once disliked, and stopped liking some that I once enjoyed.  Some that I used to adore I now flat-out hate.  A good example, though it is a few years stale, is Jamiroquai.  I used to hate the group.  I mean super-fucking-hate them.  But then I’d hear an odd song or two at parties here and there, and started realizing I had judged them crappy without ever giving them a chance.  Now I really dig them.

A few of us have been talking about The Beatles at work a lot lately.  We had a few times before, but with three of us owning and recently playing The Beatles: Rock Band, the subject has come up a lot more.  We started tossing around song suggestions to one another, and I started thinking about it.  They are basically the first “boy band”.  Why do I love them and hate all others?  Likewise, some friends of mine have been trying to get me into some of their favorite music.  I just don’t dig screamo or nue-metal, but they think I could.  And… I don’t know, so other stuff.  I want to have a fair system of trading musical tastes.  I’m not saying let’s all burn mixed tapes… though we TOTALLY COULD!  LET’S BURN MIXED TAPES!!! um… anyway, I’m saying let’s have a little game.  We’ll set some rules to suggest music to each other.

You could always go with a set number of songs, like maybe ten.  However, I don’t think that would be fair for prolific artists like The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, or James Brown.  Dude, I don’t even know how many albums any of those bands has put out, and ten songs just doesn’t do it.  You can’t possibly get enough of a taste of any of them with just ten.  So why not 20?  Because I don’t need 20 songs to know that I fucking hate Nickleback – the music snob’s greatest whipping-boy.  Also, some great artists haven’t put out 20 songs.  So I think the rule should be based on how many albums they’ve put out.  I know it’s not perfect, as some albums have six songs and others have like a billion, but it just needs to be enough of a taste to find out if they’re worth looking into.  I also don’t think you should have to use a song off of every album, as we all have a hated album from a beloved artist.  As an example, I loveMetallica but St. Anger can go fuck itself.  However, I do think the point… let’s called it a “token”, for that album still counts.  Metallica put out nine studio albums.  Therefor, I get nine tokens for that list even if I don’t use any songs off of “St. Junkpile”.  There are some intricacies, which I’ll explain in the final rules.  Stuff like an artist who was in a lot of different bands (Eric Clapton was the best example I’ve received).  Which albums count, minimum and maximum… I’m prattling on.  After conferring with some friends, I think we’ve come up with a good system.

TL;DR – Here’s a pretty fair way to suggest music to friends.  You don’t actually have to burn them a mixed tape, they can always youtube it.  Rules follow.

  1. Only music directly relevant to the given artist.  For “Dr. Dre”, you caninclude all of his solo work, featured, produced, or N.W.A. years. However, for “N.W.A.”, you cannot use the Dr. Dre solo career.  Onlyactual N.W.A. work.
  2. Your list gains 1 song “token” per album.
  3. Minimum of 5
  4. Maximum of 20.
  5. You can use multiple songs from an album or skip an album entirely.
  6. The song token for the skipped album still counts to the total.
  7. All studio albums count, unless otherwise noted (For The Beatles, 13 albums are considered “Canon” with 27 total studio albums).
  8. LPs don’t count.
  9. EPs and live albums don’t count unless they are significant (or for your own house rules).
  10. Nickleback sucks.

I would suggest stacking the front of the list with your best shots.  With that, here is my inaugural (and softball) list.

Metallica

  1. Ride the Lightning
  2. For Whom the Bell Tolls
  3. One
  4. Master of Puppets
  5. Battery
  6. The Unforgiven
  7. Enter Sandman
  8. Until it Sleeps
  9. Fuel

I do think that the EPs and Live albums are significant, but if you are now sure that you super-hate them, there is no need to continue.  If you’re on the fence, let’s round out the list.

Live

  1. Call of Cthulu
  2. Of Wolf and Man
  3. No Leaf Clover

EPs

  1. Loverman (Nick Cave cover)
  2. Astronomy (Blue Oyster Cult cover)
  3. Stone Cold Crazy (Queen cover)

As a bonus, I’d like to also say that my favorite album is Metallica (the black album), but I think the best probably has to be Ride the Lightning.  Hit me up in the comments with your lists, agreements, gripes, tell me I’m an asshats, etc.

I have a massive chin-zit, and it’s really pissing me off.

That’s about as real as it gets.  The list of things I want to mention is growing.  Let’s see…

  • Fortune Cookies
  • Pizza, and why I hate it (preview – it’s ’cause I love it)
  • The magic of pre-work
  • My massive chin-zit

Oh, right.  My massive chin-zit.  I have this massive zit on my chine.  I had one in the exact same place about a month ago.  As it was forming, I went ahead and tried to pop it.  This didn’t work, but it felt like it almost did.  So I went in for an attack from another angle.  I did this over and over until it grew from an annoying blemish to a monster of hate.  It got kinda gross and took several days to go away.  And now, not having learned my lesson from that first encounter, I did the same thing.  This has yielded the same result.  Dip.

Hello World! – and other stupid things.

This is basically just a test post, but what the hell, I’ll actually say something.  I’m Aaron, and I do a lot of stupid thinking.  Here are some of the things I’m thinking about right now:

Religious folk that I like

Musical tastes

Pitches for TV shows that will never be produced

Some sex info and stats

A book I am lazily pretending to write

Morality and Justice

Some reviews of some junk

A few websites that I am lazily working on

How to introduce a musical artist to someone

And much, much more… or less.  I don’t know.  Whatever.  It’ll be fun.