Life-Assed-Life: 19 September 2013

It’s been a hot minute since I’ve given anything close to an update on this blog.  Hell, I haven’t even been Tumbl’n and just barely Tweeting.  I have previously referred to this as a “Quick Check-in”, but that’s pretty unrealistic given that these sometimes go for a good couple of pages… were you to print it… which… yeah, why would you?  Alright, whatever.  Here’s my dizzle as of lizzle:

Work:

  • I have never felt more confident in my work in my entire life.  I remember asking my Dad and my Grandpa once if I would ever “figure it out.”  I don’t remember their answers exactly, but I do remember them being pretty fucking awesome.  Their responses were something akin to Creedence Clearwater Revival’s increasingly relevant “Someday Never Comes“,  along the lines of “ask me in a few more years”, “I’m still working it out”, and “you never really do.”  I find this to be so very true, and yet, I have started feeling incredibly comfortable in what I am doing.  I now understand how some people can comfortably settle into a job that requires a completely different skillset.  It really is more about just being able to roll with it.  Do I have an answer to that person’s very immediate problem?  Nah.  But that’s okay.  Can I even give some guidance or direct them to where they might find it themselves?  Hmm… no, not really.  But that’s okay, too.  I don’t mind saying that I have no idea what the answer is, how to help, or even what the question is referring to, but that I’ll figure it out and have something soon.  It’s gotten to a point where I believe that my boss and boss’s boss both understand that if I say, “No, I don’t know or even understand, but I’ll figure it out” I actually do mean what I say and they can walk away with the same confidence that I feel.
  • I still don’t like the way that things worked out with the whole “me level” vs. “senior me level” and the loss of headcount.  HOWEVER, I have really been kicking ass lately.  Couple that with the above jam and yeah, I’m not worried.  I feel like I already am in a position to bargain.  Next year, when it is time for my performance review for this year, will be the latest that I do that.  I am currently feeling bold enough that I am considering doing that earlier, but with various other things in motion, I think I’d rather watch how everything else works out first.  When it comes time, if they don’t play, I am finally completely comfortable in my own abilities and marketing myself to just walk.  They actually do owe me this time.  If they can’t pay up/play game, they can go fuck themselves.  It will be their loss, not mine.
  • I have been training a “senior not-really-me” in our sister department to try to pick up my overflow and back me up when I need a vacation.  This is an alright consolation prize to what, honestly, everyone knows really should have happened – me becoming the “senior me” and us promoting one of our two best candidates already on the team to be the “junior me.”  In this case, there is someone that should be easily trained to become knowledgeable and accountable to back me up when I’m out and pick up my scraps when I can’t get to them.  However, my new “backup” really isn’t catching on.  She is way more concerned about the documentation and occasionally appears to try to assert herself as my boss.  She is not my boss.  I would never accept her as my boss, especially given how much she clearly wants to lord her knowledge and experience over others.  Knowledge and experience which, by the by, actually makes her sound like a fucking idiot.  Which brings me to the last part – I can’t tell if she is as smart as I have been led to believe she is or not.  She sometimes seems to be able to connect “A” to “C” without “B”, but there are other times when I completely map out the route, and she can’t even pull out of “A’s” driveway.  And then she rationalizes her failings like I’m the idiot that should have written a document that can somehow allow (metaphorically, if it isn’t obvious) a 4 year old to publish findings on Lagrange Points.

Home/health/personal:

  • My classic problems of clutter and stupid cleaning problems are mostly cleared up.  I have, however, found a new cleaning problem – I think my vacuum is no longer doing its job well enough.  I am almost certain that is didn’t actually pick anything up in my bedroom or living room the last couple of times I ran it.  I have been pining over getting one of those fancy Dyson vacuums for a while now and I think I’m at the point where I need to stop jawing and start grabbing.
  • My other classic problem of fighting my gut – I gained some, I lost some, I gained some, I lost some.  I am still below last year’s horrible starting point of 280-something.  I am above last year’s ending point of 240-something.  I am ramping up to make a more concerted effort and to not let the Winter of 2013 be as much of a slack-fest as the Winter of 2012.  I will probably start publishing my gut stats ’round the end of this month.
  • My fancy Jawbone Up has basically stopped working.  I’m talking to their support staff about it.  Here’s to hoping they can replace/repair the thing free of charge.  Aside from the fact that the thing weren’t cheap, the truth is that I actually like it.  It’s maybe not as magical as I would like it to be, but it at least hits my basic wants for such a device.
  • I went on a few more dates.  I was not all that into them.
  • I hooked up with that Yoga Girl once more.  This was a few months back.  She texted, came over, we got some kinda drunk, stuff happened.  Stuff happened in her butt which, for the first time ever, was by her request.  In retrospect, something about this seems off.  Like… it should have been more fun.  I don’t know, maybe I’m readin’ too much into it, but I feel like she wasn’t really into it.  But then, A) she reached out to me and B) offered before I asked.  Why would you do that if you weren’t super into it?  I suppose it really doesn’t matter.  I don’t see that deal going anywhere and have told her as much.  She agreed.  Maybe she was just trying to get closure?  Or maybe confirm that she totally really doesn’t like it “in the can”?  Don’t know, don’t really care.
  • There is actually a girl that I do care about.  I should probably make that my next post, because it is somewhat of a thang.  I don’t mean a “thang” in the sense that we are an item, more that what I am doing is worth noting and, were it a blogger that I was following, would probably be my the edge of my seat to read about.  The subtext – as a minimum, I am either a scumbag or a loser.  More to come!

Gaming:

  • Batmensch: Arkham Bigger Joint was pretty damned good.  Probably much better than the first.  I think I finished it.  I say that because I have heard it dumps you right back into the main world when you finished it, and I don’t recall seeing credits… but I’m pretty sure I have resolved the games conflict… I dunno.  I’d have a more definitive answer about it except that I can’t bring myself to play it anymore.  This has less to do with the game and more to do with the me.  I have found the “economy” of my gaming has changed a lot in the past few years.  I now have the money to buy all of the games that I want to, but I no longer have the time to play them all.  And that’s not just talking actually, you can look at it and track it, clock/calendar time.  I mean, I might be at work and have (effectively) nothing to do, but I still have shit to do that takes priority to picking up a new game.  I did finish “Saint’s Row IV”, though.  That ain’t a short game.  But I will probably never 100% that game.  As soon as I hit the credits, I was done.  I am actually apprehensive about booting it back up.  This has extended to something that I feel very weird about.  In the past, I would be all about, maybe even beg for more.  Sequels, expansions, extras, DLC.  Anything, just fucking give me more.  But now… fuck, dude, no.  There is a DLC joint for Mass Effect 3 (been out for a while) that sounds like it is soooo right up my ally, but I can’t even bring myself buy it because I don’t think I’ll even play that game again.  I already have bought a grip of DLC for Skyrim, and will probably never play it for the same reason.  I don’t know, man.  Back in the day, I would squeeze everything last drop out of every game.  These days, I think I just want a really good, really tight, well delivered game experience.  And when it’s done, it’s done.  Like a movie.
  • Also – Saint’s Row IV is probably not as good as Saint’s Row the 3rd, but I actually think I had more fun playing it.  It’s stupid.  Stupid in a way I can really get behind.

tl;dr – Work havings; stupidness in my life; gamin’ ain’t easy, playa

I should probably talk about that girl situation sooner than later.  It’s top of mind and I imagine that if one of the bloggers I follow were in this situation, I’d be way-the-fuck up their proverbial ass about it.