Tenga Egg Showdown – Round Two!

For today’s Dirty Talk Thursday (patent pending) I have tried out two more eggs from the Tenga Egg Six-pack that I picked up a short while back.  I had a surprise or two in this round, and I’m starting to think that I may need to go ahead and re-use the carefully washed eggs from the first round… or just pick up a second pack.  That might be a little less disgusting… we’ll give that some thought.

For this round, the first egg that I tested was “The Clicker”.

Before you ask I’ll just say it – I got no idea what the name is referring to.  What I do have an idea about is that I wasn’t all in on this one… at first.  When I first donned this dongle around my dome, I thought it felt horrible.  It was like a chick thinking she’s being all senual-like with her nails on the joint.  It did not feel good.

But I was determined.

I I tried some other moves.  I did things with it that I wish I could try with women – things that would be difficult if not impossible.  Things that they probably couldn’t even pull off with a blowjob.  I whipped and twisted and slid the thing around, doing 180s, 360s, crazy moves you might do in a double-joystick shooter.  Whatever it was that I was doing suddenly made the toy make perfect sense to me.  It was like when a lady gives you a blow-y with lots of tongue.  I was receiving pleasurable sensations from multiple directions on multiple points, and it was fantastic!

If you are wondering what these things look  like on the inside, how they work, what the setup is, etc., then you should really just google it.  In case it isn’t obvious, I wouldn’t suggest googling it at work.  When you flip over to the image googling, there are some very explicit pictures of these units in use… on some units.  As such, I have curated a few less explicit images for you at the bottom of this post.  Check those out whenver.  In the mean time, let’s move on to the next creepy toy.

The second heat of the second round was “The Twister”.  For this name, the connection was obvious.  Just look at the packaging.

That’s what it’s like.  The only problem with the packaging is that it doesn’t show depth.  It doesn’t show how thick the texture is or how deep the groves and parts in between are.  It doesn’t quite convey the toys’ intricacies, and I’m starting to think that it’s more about those intricacies than it is about the general shape.

This second round really made me think about the intricacies.  You see, with “The Twister” I ran into the same problem that I did with “The Clicker”.  The up-and-down motion did nothing for me and was, in fact, a bit unpleasant.  I think this happens because the elastomer texture is very deep.  With the first two, the texture was very shallow.  In fact, the “Silky” one could almost be described as a lace of pleasure.  The texture barely protudes, but with “The Clicker” and “The Twister”, the texture is deep enough that without considerable pressure or torque, your own bits and peices won’t be able to touch the walls.  But a combination of side-to-sides, twisties, and “around the moon” moves connects all of the parts and runs the deep, thick texture against and around the pleasure centers in a way that just feels magical.

This one was less like a blow-j and more like a hot, sweaty ride with a chick who’s doing a really close, tight grind.  And I like a good grind.  You know that move where she stays in full contact while swirling her hips around in very tight circles?  Yeah.  Kinda like that.  As with last Thursday’s post, I want to remind you – it’s not good enough to all-out replace the real thing.  It doesn’t even really feel like the real thing, but with imagination it approximates well enough that I can kinda-sorta feel like I’ve joined in while watching a porn.  Here’s to hoping that describes what it’s like.

At this point, I feel like I’ve done my job of explaining this round.  If that didn’t make sense, I don’t know what to tell you.  Comment?  I’ll be sure to get back to you on it.  And if your comment doesn’t immediately get through, I’ll try to get to approving it as soon as possible.  I get some weird spam, so I have a filter up.

tl;dr – These two are terrible for up-and-down motions.  Do some twisties and they’ll make sense.  

I’m considering how to rate these and hope I’ll have a better idea while working on the third round.  Here’s the curated gallery: