You know that shit that I said on Monday about trying to get more into wine? You know what? Fuck that shit.
I talked to some of my friends and family that I might describe as “wine people” and did some shady Math mental number crunching. These motherfuckers buy cases, CASES, of booze. Wine cellars, wine fridges, and wine racks exist because they make frequent buys of metric fucktons of wine and need some place to store it. They organize it and catalog it and show off their fancy-dancy expensive shit. They keep huge stocks of cheap-to-moderately priced stuff, and they drink it all the time. ALL THE TIME!!!
I mean, I think I said that I would drink a couple glasses a night. I don’t actually mean a couple of glasses every night. It is now my understanding that wine people will drink half a bottle to two bottle a night. EVERY FUCKING NIGHT OF THE WEEK. How is this healthy? I have been told that this feeling is more of an American thing. Folks that I have stayed in contact with from Europe and other parts of the world don’t share this sentiment. They drink a little (in their opinion) every night and rarely binge. Of course, their idea of “binge” doesn’t seem to match up with how Americans view it. I’m not sure if it qualifies as a mental health thing or what, but I’m pretty sure that the American sensibility is that anything more than an average of a glass and a half of wine a night is binging. Three beers is too much. Two cocktails and you’re a raging alcoholic. I don’t agree with those numbers, but I might say that a couple splitting two bottles of wine each night every night seems insane to me.
At least in this point in my life, I’m not going to buy wine buy the case. I’m not going to find a corner of my two bedroom to carefully store mountains of wine in climate controlled cases. I’m not going to polish off a bottle a night. What’s the solution? I guess just get back on my general health plan. It’s a good thing, it’s been working, and it isn’t that hard. It’s just not super fun.
tl;dr – I’ve decided against what I thought was a good idea on Monday; back to what has already worked so far; eat and drink heatlhy/masturbate a lot.
Alright. Tune in tomorrow for a brand new treat.