I have had a rough-assed week

Actually, if I’m being honest, I have had a rough-assed month.  Certainly not as rough as some of my peers, but rough enough for my bitch ass to take it as an excuse to retreat into a bottle a bit too often.  The thing is, it’s mostly not even all that rough in a bad way.  I’m working a little later than I’d prefer, but with exception of a shitty home-owner problem, most of my rough month can either be considered self inflicted or kinda okay.  Anyway, this rough month has had me thinking about how I have temporarily been wrecking myself and sabotaging my weight loss progress.  As such, I think it’s just about time for a Quicklist.

Quicklist – Hangover Cures

5.  Excedrin and “Fruit” Soda – Though it works less and less well as I age, this was once my standard.  A Sunkist and an Excedrin (Orange Fanta and some knockoff Advil when I was in Germany) would set me straight in moments.

4.  Hair of the Dog – Had too much booze last night and now you can’t seem to make it through this morning?  Well… how about have another?  It ain’t healthy.  It ain’t a good idea.  It really ain’t gunna cure you and will probably make you barf.  But it will numb the pain.  That should work for you.

3.  Taco Bell – I used to have a joke about this one.  I don’t remember it verbatim, but here’s the gist.  If you eat Taco Bell while hung over, you really only have two possible reactions.  Either the carbs and grease soak in just right and you start to feel better OR the nasty taco “meat” makes you puke your brains out, which will absolutely make you feel better.  It’s been a while since I’ve been to Taco Bell, but speaking for the recent times when I have been there, they have definitely stepped up their game.  People who say that Taco Bell uses substandard meat or that their food is cardboard or whatever don’t know what they’re talking about. People who say that the food is bad for you?  People who say that every dish is just a different configuration of the same five ingredients?  They may have a point.

2.  Prairie Oyster –  Raw egg.  Worcestershire sauce.  Hot sauce.  Salt.  Pepper.  Some versions include Gin.  It’s horrible.  If you survive it, you’ll probably make it through the day just fine.

1.  Banana Bag – Back when I was in the service, my friends and I would get all drunked up way into the night and maybe the morning.  Then we’d have PT (physical training) at around 5 or 6 in the morning.  Pretty stupid.  But here’s what’s not – hanging a banana bag.  What’s a “banana bag”?  It’s an IV with potassium. Actually, I think there’s a bunch of extra shit in there, and I’m not convinced that it’s the potassium that cures you.  Either way, if you have a squadron full of hungover assholes who are all combat medic trained and you just happen to have a bunch of banana bags laying around because someone, for no reason… really… went ahead and ordered a few crates of them, well… hang a few.  You’ll feel awesome in no time.

tl;dr – I don’t know, man.  Don’t drink on a school night.

Of coarse the best cure is to just not get drunk.  But that’s no fun.

My Extended Bootycall Forecast:

None today, but here’s the basics – nothing.

 

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