I Disapprove of the Liberal Use of the Term “MILF”

More and more these days, I have been noticing an over use of the term “MILF”.  I hear and read the term tossed around all over the place.  I want to ask something of everyone who reads this: Only say it when it’s appropriate.  Only say it when you mean it.

MILF.

MILF.

M.I.L.F.

It’s an acronym.  It means “Mom I’d Love to Fuck”.

Are you a mom?  Oh, you aren’t?  Then you are not a MILF.

Are you hot?  How hot?

Would I fuck you?  Sure I would, but that’s not saying much.  I would fuck a lot of broads.  You aren’t surprising anyone by sayin’ “Oh, yeah, Aaron would fuck me.  I’m hot, right?”

Would I want to fuck you?  Hmm.  Maybe.  But wanting to fuck you still isn’t saying a lot.  There is a gulf between the number of women I would fuck and the women that I want to fuck, but it’s not that big.  Honestly, I want a lot of things.  I don’t think of those things very often or for very long.  I just occasionally want something.  Sometimes I want to pick up a pack of gum.  That’s something that I can do without anyone else’s consent and with practically no effort, yet I don’t always do it.  That’s how powerful “want” is.

Would I like to fuck you?  Alright, let’s say I would.  I also like sitting at the edge of my bathtub after a very hot shower.  I don’t yearn for it or anything.  Just sometimes, at the end of a long day or right after a good morning workout, I take a balls-hot shower.  After said shower, I sometimes like to crack the door open to let the cool, dry air in and the scalding-hot, wet air out while I plop my ass down on the edge of the tub and chill out for a minute or two.

Would I love to fuck you?  Probably not.  Much of a scumbag as I am, what you likely think of my standards is probably wrong.  I actually do have standards.  Some of those are based on physical appearance.  Some are based on intelligence or general mental prowess.  Some are based on personality.  Some you usually don’t get to find out about before hand, like how the lady performs in bed.  In order for me to love to fuck you, you’ve gotten hit more than a few of those standards.

So when I come across a dating profile, craigslist ad, or porno flick labeled as “MILF” and it’s some gnarly broad, I am understandably put off.  This happens all too often, and I’m not happy about it.  If you not explicitly a Mom whom I would most definitely LOVE to fuck, then you are abusing the term, and fuck you for it.

tl;dr – You’re not a MILF, ’cause I wouldn’t fuck you unless I absolutely had to.  Cunt.

That wasn’t very nice, but… well…

My Extended Bootycall Forecast:

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