Going Camping? Here’s a Checklist of Shit You Need!!!

I went on a camping…ish trip with some friends for some friends’ wedding… I’m not sure if my possessiveness was correct there…  let me try to explain before I move on.  So one of my friends… let’s call him “Rust” (pseudonym) married a cool chick that has, through him, become another friend… let’s call her “Laurili” (another pseudonym) went and got hitched.  This was a good thing.  Generally, I’m pretty against marriage, but some are actually good.  Most of them, you can’t really tell that they’re good until a few years in.  But a few, one or two from my closest of friends, you can tell before they ever even happen.  The trend that I’ve seen the most has to do with being comfortable with each other, if that makes any kind of sense to you.

But that’s another post.  This post is about that camping trip.  And to be clear, the wedding wasn’t at that camping trip.  The camping was the master framework for the the combined bachelor/bachelorette party.  It was a very good time, but I did not stay nearly long enough.  In fact, as I always do, I made a list.  I made a list of the things that I felt that I would need for the camping trip, based on my original assumption that I would stay for four days and three nights.  This turned out to be a massive over-estimate, as the first day/night was completely lost to bullshit, half of the second day was lost to bullshit, and so on.  I ended up staying one night and about a full day split over two dates.

So what I’m saying is, I overpacked.  But you know what?  The packing list isn’t terrible.  Here’s a basic, super-mega-awesome, thorough packing list for anything staying out in the wilderness for a good couple of days:

  • hot dogs
  • hot dog buns
  • sammich stuffs
  • jerky
  • beans
  • Beans, yeah?  That’ll be smart, jackass.  It will be great to fart and shit all over with cute single chicks around.
  • Ingredients for community chili?  Meat, beans, chilis, tomatoes, iron filings
  • Snackies
  • Cooler
  • Skewers
  • Foil
  • ice
  • ice pakcs
  • new tent.  You’re not sleeping in that ratty old POS again.
  • Money
  • Beersies or Liquorsish
  • Nanners
  • Decent Chocolate
  • Coffee… i guess ground?
  • Gum.  Non negotiable
  • Tape
  • Cigars?
  • Love.  Sweet love.
  • Electricity
  • Cash.  Cash Monies.
  • Dried Fruits
  • Un-dried fruits
  • Total Re-dried Fruits
  • Book or two.                            Who am I kiddin’, I cant read!
  • Phone.
  • iPad?
  • Lapply?
  • Sleeping bag or two?  Or seven?
  • Pillow
  • Buttsecks
  • Clothes
  • Fishings pole
  • Fishings tackle
  • Wedding tackle
  • Spackle
  • Snackles
  • Sporcle
  • Shoes
  • Boots
  • Lots o’ socks & undies
  • More socks (never know when you’ll have to march)
  • Rain gear
  • Sorry’s
  • Iron Price
  • Chair
  • Hat… I suppose.  Morning hair…
  • Buggy spray
  • Extra blanky
  • first aid shizzy
  • iPod cables… wait… where the fuck would I plug those in?
  • Sun screen
  • Pocket knife
  • Tableware
  • Flashlight
  • Fleshlight
  • Batteries
  • Headphones
  • Earbuds
  • Games
  • Headbuds
  • Earphones
  • Characters
  • Ee-hee-hee-mails
  • Toofburshes
  • Toilet Trees
  • Thermarest or otherwise sleepies
  • Nakedness
  • Pingus
  • Doritos Locos Tacos… wait… I don’t even like Doritos.
  • Sleep
  • India
  • Greatness
  • Basil
  • Candies
  • Playing Cards

There you go.  That’s what I packed.

tl;dr – I know you didn’t read that whole fucking list, you slacker fucks.

In retrospect, the shit I came home early for sucked ass and I really should have stayed longer.  I’m thinking of planning another trip, but I’m wondering how many would like to go to real campgrounds.  I guess I’ll see about that after I plan some bowling or mini-golf.  The next free weekend that I have is going to one of those.  Period.