Currently On My Mind

A lot of stuff, actually, but I’m still in the “Man, I really don’t have time” penalty box of life.  You should see my desk at work.  Or rather, I wish I could see my desk at work.  As it is right now, it’s completely covered in paperwork, pens, stacks of guides and technical documents, sticky notes, and completely illegible notebooks and writing pads.  Oh, right – those illegible joints are mine.  My penmanship is abysmal.  The had started to mount to a point where my coworkers and I basically had to break down and say, “We can’t do this/we need another way.”  We think we’ve found the alternate path, and I think things will work out pretty well in the end, but it also means a mad-dash to point where we at least have something to show for our efforts.  If we can’t scratch up something worthwhile soon, we may face being forced to double back with even less time than we have now.  That would really blow.  Like whole dump trucks full of dicks kinda blowin’.

Anyway, here’s what I’m thinking about when my mind’s cycles aren’t being used for my job:

  • Asses
  • Titties
  • The ladies that those asses and titties are attached to
  • Possibly devising some sort of chart or graph that would visually aide my readers’ abilities to understand the types of asses and titties and ladies of which they are attached to that have been flooding my mind
  • An old war buddy that seems to have gone MIA… while in the USA?
  • My family (I know, sorry.  It’s a bit too wholesome for me, too.)
  • A project that I really wanted to start for this website but haven’t.
  • How I no longer understand the goals of internet spam in the modern age
  • Things I’d like to do this summer
  • Better ways of hanging out than I currently employ
  • Three Guys Walk Into a Bar and the small handful of issues it currently has
  • A request from my brother to do a podcast with him
  • How much fucking work getting the podcast together and out can be.  ‘Cause holy shit, it can really eat away at your day.
  • Legs
  • Necks
  • Backs
  • Hips
  • The way that some ladies backs have… I don’t know… dimples?  Like right above the ass?  Sometimes it’s pretty cool.
  • Lego building
  • Male masturbation toys – why there’s a stigma for them, if I care about the stigma, and what kind I would get were I to
  • Food – especially burgers.  Really fuckin’ good burgers.
  • Relationships, in general.
  • The Hunger Games (just started reading it, don’t spoil it you fucking CUUUUUUUUUNNNTS)
  • Hair – both that of these random ladies and my own… which I should probably write about at some point.
  • The slow but steady pace of my weight loss
  • Clever ways of listings the asses and titties and ladies that most frequently invade my mind
  • That whole “Masturbation Relay” law, and how I didn’t name it until just now.
  • Depraved sex acts and how some of what I do may be viewed as such
  • How I like to do those possibly depraved acts on/in/near/to some of those body parts mentioned earlier.
  • Titties
  • Ladies
  • Asses

tl;dr – I’m pretty much just a pervert for about 80% of the day, and if you’ve got a sweet pair of melons or some hot rump roast, I’ve probably thought about eating them.  How’s that for a skin-crawly metaphor?

You don’t even want to know what other metaphors I had at the ready for that line.  Or maybe you do… and maybe that’s about to right me a brand new blog post… hmm…

Also, I guess rump roast might not actually be what I think of.  Maybe I’m really just looking for some Round, at least according to today’s image.

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