How Ya’ Liking The New Features?

So I’m sure you’ve noticed that I’m rolling out new features.  Justin’s Corner, an invitation to guest bloggers, and The Playlist of the Month are already out.  There are more to come.  I’m still not entirely sure of how I should present this stuff, though.  For now, these features will mostly appear as the in-between posts.  Normal posts are Monday, Wednesday, and Friday (unless it’s a holiday or I’m lazy or I’m tired or I forget or I’m being a bitch).  “Feature” posts will happen on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and weekends/holidays.  There will be regular features – things that get a new post every month/week/event.  There will be one-offs – something I done did and I’m not going to make you wait until Monday to see a picture of the bear I wrestled.  Oh, right.  I wrestle bears.  ‘Cause I’m such  man and stuff.  Sometimes these features will appear as additions to regular blog posts.  In those cases, they will either be at the bottom after the tl;dr or right up top so you can get to the funzies without having to suffer through my stupid, “No, my opinion matters…” bullshit.  In some cases (like today’s) it will be both.  One feature will be right up top (well… right below this today, to ease you into it) and one feature will be at the bottom.  Some features will be posts all of their own – like guest bloggers or any kind of “… of the Month” posts.  I’ll stop dilly dallying.  Here’s the thing:

Thing I Found of the Week [beta test]:

This idea for a feature is still pretty up in the air, so I’ll at least offer something fun for now.  IF YOU’RE AT WORK, DON’T CLICK THIS.  I CANNOT BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR IRRESPONSIBLE CLICKING. ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY NOT SAFE FOR WORK.  I’M SERIOUS, MAN, DON’T DO IT. http://bootyoftheday.co/  I don’t know what’s going to be at the top of this amazing website when you click on it, but if it’s anything like what I stumbled across while searching for some (believe it or not) safe-for-work inspiration for a different feature, then I’m sure you’ll either greatly enjoy or at least be intrigued by it.  Mmmmmm… booty.

Then I’ll do my normal, everyday post.  It’ll look something like this:

“…And another thing:  I don’t care how many dicks you’ve slapped, I still don’t want mine slapped.  That’s the problem with all you Republicans.  Something something, I don’t like religion, something, bark bark, I’m important.  Wild accusation followed by superlatives and exclamations!  Should I ask a question of the readers that they’ll never respond to?  Hmm… hasn’t worked so far, but maybe this will.  How do you like your cumshots?

Now for something slightly less crude followed by something slightly more crude followed by a random aside followed by a very verbose way of explaining something that should actually be pretty easy to understand.  But first (and even before that, I’ll add some pointless and distracting parenthetical) I’ll explain a bunch of back story that you couldn’t possibly give two fucks about.

tl;dr – Poorly worded summery of the above, and yes I do understand that most of these aren’t very helpful, but I like cracking jokes in them, so I’m keeping them for now.  

Cracking of another stupid joke and/or some weird acknowledgement of something and/or some even weirder in-blog apology to whatever I just lambasted, thereby invalidating at least one point that I made earlier.  When did I become so wrote?  Whatever, stick with me, ’cause I can only get better, kid.  Dumb shit after the big game, now here’s the weather:

Aaron’s Notes Extended Booty Call Forecast [also beta]: