Weight loss is a pretty common subject for me to discuss on this here blog. That’s partly because it’s a really big deal for and partly because I don’t really want to talk about it in person anymore. I have had (and begrudgingly continue to have) too many conversations with friends, family members, and jagoffs that I’ve just met about the best possible weight loss strategies, exercise routines, diets, machines, pills, caloric values… the list really does go on and on. And it sucks. All of it sucks.
The fact that it’s something I want so bad but just can’t seem to stick to sucks. The fact that I ever let myself get this fat in the first place sucks. The fact that being fat keeps me from doing the active things I know I can do to get rid of the fat sucks. But honestly, talking about how fat I am and how I’m going to not be fat any more sucks the most. It sucks because I always get roped into these conversations, even when I clearly don’t want to have them (and sometimes I do, let’s be fair). I sucks because at some point in the conversation, I realize that I’m not making any progress. It sucks because I’ll usually also realize that at least one other person in the conversation won’t even make an honest try, and that’s usually the person talking the most about it. It sucks because there is almost always at least one person who is stuck in the conversation and just fucking hating it. It sucks because it’s usually the same mix of good and bad advice being thrown back and forth at each other as if we haven’t already had this conversation a trillion times.
It’s very selfish, very sad, and very pointless. In all of my life, I can’t think of a personal issue of mine more appropriate for the “shit or get off the pot” phrase.
Do I have two things to say about that. 1) I’m gunna, and I’m preparing myself for the saddest challenge that actually manages to be difficult that I’ve ever had. It really is fucking sad that it is this much of a deal for me, and I promised myself I wouldn’t spend my 30’s fat. It’s just a few months away, so there’s not more putting it off.
2) Imma put it off for this weekend, likely doing a BK vs. Wendy’s taste test.
I’m not committing to anything. Actually, lately I’ve been accidentally doing a pretty good job of making good choices. My go-to breakfast has changed from fast food egg sandwiches and other assorted grease and/or carb bombs into fruit. My lunches have changed dramatically – more on that for another time. My eating out/ordering in compulsion has waned significantly. Hell, I’ve even been turning down random fast food lunches and horrible-for-me freebies.
But I’ve been dying to try some of the new fast food fair being offered these days, and it is really going to drive me nuts if I have that looming over my head while I try to deal with my moobs. Since I’m already not being perfect and I have already decided that I’m in a sort of “testing” and “preparation” phase (that’s the current excuse that I’m using), I may as well check out the shit that I want to check out.
So the plan right now is to get a “W” from Wendy’s, the “Chef’s Choice Burger” from BK, a value fries from both, and maybe some kind of wacky new sandwich from Arby’s, ’cause I fuckin’ love Arby’s and ya’ll’s can sucks the dicks.
tl;dr – I’m really gunna try to lose weight. No, seriously. You can totally believe me this time. Also, I want to try some of the new and remixed fast food bullshit before I do.
Now piss off unless you have something good to say. Actually, yes. I will be entertaining any and all suggestions for delicious fast foods which I need to try before I try to save my shitty health. I will also be entertaining any and all suggestions for how to get my fat ass healthy again. Well, not all suggestions. No enemas. Unless the chick is hot and it involves some kind of coffee or chai. What?