I totally forgot to write my post for today. My bads. Here’s the deal – this is the last day of me having a terrible mustache. Now what, bitches? Yeah, that’s right. Back to the beard! Maybe. I don’t know. I might do some clean shaven or strategic stubble action.
I have a lot of things on my mind and a number of projects on my hands. The most odd thing to happen since I last posted is a text message I received out of the blue from a very attractive woman that… I’m not sure if I ever met in person or not. I kinda think I may have hooked up with her, but I kinda think we never really got past an initial conversation. I don’t know, man. It would be a lot easier to keep track of had I not spent the better part of mid 2008 – mid 2011 in a regular state of being super fucked up.
Anyway, she’s very attractive and seems pretty cool. You never really know until you spend some time with someone, which might be part of why I’ve been so standoffish about a relationship for the past… I don’t know, however long. There was also no indication about sexuality. If she is “person I think she might be #1”, then I know we click in bed. If she’s “person I think she might be #2”, then I have no idea. I do know that there have been some potential encounters that I ended in the conversation stage because I knew we wouldn’t get along in bed. Admittedly, that has been because the lady wouldn’t do the buttsecks… and that single criteria may have been used on more then a few situations… but man, that matters. Not that she has to be a raging, always horny, fuck-me-in-da-butt-aholic, but it would be nice.
It was just a text conversation which I unintentionally ended early, but things like that remind me of what I want out of life. That includes potential relationships. You see, it’s the idea of a serious relationship being a partnership. I mean, we can’t just be super into each other and it isn’t good enough that I get to plow that assfield whenever I want. That stuff’s great, but it’s not a relationship. She’s got to be a good roommate. We have to have a good amount of overlapping interests while maintaining a healthy list of interests that we don’t share. We each have to hold up to our part of the bargain and each other’s standards. I also need the relationship to be beneficial to me in more than just sex and companionship. I would assume it would be mutually beneficial, but you know. Sometimes I’m a real piece of shit.
This is what I mean. I’m losing weight, but it’s a real drag and it’s going way more slowly than I’d like it to. I’d want her to help me achieve my weight loss and fitness goals without being a bitchy, annoying, nagfest. We should work together to both become more financially secure with each year. We should help each other do… you know, whatever shit we want out of life. It sucks to have to call a friend or catch a cab if I have car troubles. It sucks to handle 100% of my household responsibilities. A lot of things suck. The thing is, the potential of those things not being improved when entering a relationship currently outweighs the known quantity of improvement while staying single. Not sure if that word problem I just put forth made sense.
Let’s call my problems 100 points. Right now, I am removing or improving my problem areas at a rate of 10 per year. At 10 years, my current set of problems will be removed or improved – baring significant change.
A serious relationship would qualify as a significant change. The potential of that change to my rate of improvement is unknown. It could be for the better. Perhaps my rate will increase by 50% – making it 15 problem areas removed or improved per year. That would put me at my goals much quicker. However, it could also damage my rate by 50%, doubling my expected completion date. That’s not worth regular companionship to me, and sex isn’t that hard to come by.
On top of that, regardless of whether getting serious with some chick makes things better, worse, or stay the same for me, I would then have to account for whatever life improvements and changes she would have to deal with. Well… I wouldn’t have to. I’m sure plenty of relationships do just fine that way. However, I think that if I am asking for such help, it would only be reasonable for her to expect some return on investment.
I don’t know.
tl;dr – So just what is the R.O.I. on butt fucking a chick?
In short – not just feed me, fuck me, shut the fuck up. Help me, fuck me, don’t talk all the damned time. Savvy?
About the picture – once again, it is totally unrelated to the post. It’s a paperkraft chess set. It resides inside of my cubicle at work. It has never actually been used.