Let’s Give This Shit a Try

So if you’ve been reading my shitty blog for a while, I would have to imagine that you’ve figured out a few things about me.  I’m nerdy.  I’m pervy and horny.  I’m fatty.  I’ve been struggling with that issue for years.  Actually, I’ve been struggling with it for most of my life.  I even struggled with it while I was in the Air Force, but mostly just when I was in garrison.  You want to hear a fat-guy dream scenario?  One MRE- Meal, Ready-to-Eat – must provide at least 1,200 calories.  I recall one, which I think has been discontinued, had about 2,500 calories.  The average adult male diet should contain about 2,200 calories.  There were days in Iraq or points beyond when I would consume three MREs – that’s AT LEAST 3,600 mafuckin’ calories – and I was still losing weight.  Do you know how much fun I could have with a 3,600 calorie budget around this bitch?!?  FUUUUUUUCK!!!  Burgers AND pizza, bitches!

Anyway, my weight stabilized and I’ve stopped eating like a fatass dickface and I’ve been able to drop a tiny amount.  I need to drop a bunch of weight as quickly as possible.  Any other fat people who have struggled as I have know this just as well.  The “slow and steady” thing might be the right way to go, but there’s some bullshit in my brain and routine that just doesn’t let me.  Lots up front is what I need and I’ve been developing a strategy for it.  I was getting pretty close to finishing and realized that I really just need to get started now.  Then I found a coupon for a place that already has a strategy.  I’m not going to say which place, ’cause I don’t want to promote or badmouth them until I’m sure of what the deal is, but it looks like it’s exactly what I want.  I want to kick this shit off right.

I want to talk about it, regardless of the results, but I don’t want this blog to just turn into another shitty weight loss blog.  This blog needs to maintain its current, awkward, pervy, crazy flavor of shitty.  As such, I’ve been thinking about how and where I would talk about it.  I kinda think I want to do either a podcast or a youtube-assed-shit.  Wow, really getting cursy in today’s fuckfuck of a blog, dicks.  Cock.  At first I figured I’d record a big ol’ thing at the end of each week, but big ol’ things are sometimes difficult to keep going.  So right now I’m thinking I’ll do a super-short daily podcast and maybe an end of week video wrap-up.  Maybe not the video.  I don’t know, man.  Whichever it is, it will either start on Sunday or Monday.

tl;dr – I start a professional weight loss program this weekend, some swear words, and I’m thinking about other avenues of content from me.  Sorry I didn’t mention buttsecks today.

Actually, the last time I put it in a butt was a couple weeks ago.  Maybe that’s why I’ve been stressed lately.  Asslove really puts me in a good spot.

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