I’m listening to The Mike O’Meara Show – a fine internet based show of hilarity – birthed from the recent turmoil in the radio industry by a fantastic, historic, majestic talk show crew of radio veterans.
Pro Tip: Listening to the previous day’s episode of TMOS is a great way to start a suck-ass work day. Holding off on listening to the weekly Big O and Dukes show until Friday is a great way to keep from blowing your brains out as you speed away from work at a rapid pace to the liquor store.
Anyway, the TMOS guys were talking about fast food and car eating in the 7/21 episode. This is right up my alley. Also, I need to write today’s post, and work sucks ass so I’m just not feelin’ it. So let’s just say that they have inspired me to make a quicky about my roady favorites to shove in my face.
Aaron’s Top Five Fast Fucking Food Feasts for Fahrvergnügen*, Fine Friends:
5. 7-Eleven Spicy Bite w/ minimal toppings
4. McDonald’s Chicken McNuggets
3. Taco Bell Cheesy Double Beef Burrito
2. McDonald’s Fries
1. Burger King Cheeseburger
The BK Cheeseburger takes the cake because it’s delicious, classic, and doesn’t (usually) fall apart and end up all over your shirt and pants. The Whopper is delicious, but it’s a structural wreck. That’s the kind of burger that can destroy even a darker t-shirt under the stable dining conditions. Though less so, the Big Mac is a bit of its own disaster, and I would discourage attempting it in the car. Fries are risky, but worth it. Onion rings are not for me, but I’m in a new car with light colored clothe seats, so to each his own. I love the fish sandwiches, but they can be difficult. The Micky D’s entry is much easier to manage… actually, I think that BK’s only sandwich that isn’t a total, nervus, fall-apart-failure, unstable, basket case wreck is probably their cheeseburger. Even the regular burger has a problem where the top bun slides away too easily.
tl;dr – Work blows, The Mike O’Meara Show is still great, Burger King Cheeseburgers are a perfect pair for driving and listening to podcasts… shirtless (yeah), and leave the sammy in the wrapper.
*Fahrvergnügen comes from a Volkswagen advertisement campaign from back in the 19somethings (’cause who really gives a fuck about when?). It’s German and translates to “driving enjoyment”. So that’s my top five fast food things that I shove in my face to/while enjoyment of driving… thing… have. Fuck, I’m burned out today. Also, I hate alliteration… except when it’s my own. For so reason, I feel like everyone reading it gets the same sense of irony that I am attempting to imbue it with. Deep down, I know it just comes across as douchy, girly, and childish, but you know what? Fuck you. That’s what.
The Weekend Booty Call Forecast is: Skinny, with a chance of bubble butt in my face.