Just a quick thing today

Sorry for being late.  Actually, most people probably don’t know about my publish time, so I’m actually outing myself on this – I actually hold myself to a 12:00 PM Monday, Wednesday, Friday schedule.  So if you want to keep on the now, check then the for newest.  I might do more posts without warning.  I will post AT LEAST five days on a theme week.

Why am I late today?  I had some shit planned that I thought I could finish between last night and this morning.  I ended up having things to do.  A new company is in charge of the condo association for the place I live in.  They already seem much better than the last one, but we’ll see.  They needed me here so they could do some pest control spraying.  I couldn’t tell you how rad it was that the dude was cool, professional, and quick.  Sweet Jesus, if the rest of the world would work like that, we might just make it.  So I’ve taken the day off from work.  That’s not the only reason – I’m really just burned the fuck out.  I’m trying to stretch things out until I can make it to the summer vacation.  I can’t fuckin’ wait for that.

Anywizzle, I’m applying this day off to things that matter… and also things that don’t.  Here’s the thing that doesn’t matter that I did:

Completed Portal 2 between a super-late night and this morning waiting for the spray-dude.  It was fuckin’ awesome.  The game, that is.  While I expected the end that came (and I won’t spoil it), there were some twists that I didn’t expect.  More importantly,

Here’s the stuff that I’m doing that matters:

I’m not fuckin’ telling you that shit.  Well, I’ll say this.  I’ve got some chores and projects that I’ve been putting off that I really need to get to.  I’ve already done a few, but I’m still putting off the hole over my sink… maybe tomorrow.  I don’t know why that one is such a pain for me.  I have all the stuff to do it, I’ve done it before, and it’s not difficult or all that time consuming.  I just can’t seem to get to it.  I’ve done considerably more difficult and time consuming things in place of it.  It’s like some strange mental block that I just can’t get past.

That’s about all, so I’ll give you some sketchings for ya’lls’es ta git yer eyes on.

This was a sketch of a breakfast sammy. I don't know what is with the pierced cherry in the corner.

See, I was originally planning to sketch every post for Breakfast Theme Week.  I have some more theme weeks planned, by the way – wait for them.  They gunna get reeeel nace n’ dumb.

It'll fuck you up.

This is one of the “dirty drafts” or “napkin sketches” that I’ve been working on for 3 Guys Walk Into a Bar – a fabulous internet broadcast that should be updating soonish.

ABF All Fuckin' Day.

This is a super-dirty draft.  I’ve since updated, but I think you get the idea.  If not, comment.  I’ll try to explain it.  Really.  I won’t make fun of you at all.  In case you’re wondering, those aren’t napkins.  They are actually super-fancy note squares that my boss pawned off on me ’cause she didn’t care for them.  I mostly use them for shitty origami when I’m bored or stressed.  Mostly bored.

It's a pretty drafty-assed-draft

The above is another sketch for the show.  I like the concept but need to shop it around with the other dudes before I clean this up or swap out panels.  Maybe a ring or sash with “3 Guys Walk Into a Bar” and “ThreeGuys.Info” in it.  I also think that this “Always Be Fluffing” has become a bit of a show catchphrase.  I like this.  For personal reasons, this is pretty funny.  For show reasons, this does a good job of capturing the feel.  For marketing reasons, it’s a really good thing to have any catchphrase that catches on.

FFUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCKCKCCCKCKCKCK YEAHAHAHAEYAYEJAHH!!!

This is a sketch I did at my desk about a thing I does.  You see, one of the things that I do to get myself to eat more healthily is to envision myself as a rampaging wild/historic/mythical beast devouring the fucking awful people that pack the mall during the working hours of normal people.  What the fuck do you do all day?  Where the fuck do you get the money that you’re over-spending?  Why the fuck are you still alive?

The thought comes without trying when I eat blood oranges.  Come on – they’re delicious and trickle bloodish fluid down my chin when I bite into them.  Makes me feel fuckin’ great.  It has also made me think of making a web series, but I’d need a couple “in the can” before I start publishing.  This being said, if I were to actually to start such a web series, it probably wouldn’t be for at least another six months.  Just sayin’.  Mostly sayin’ it’s a lot more work than it will likely be reward, so it’s possible that I’ll just say, “Fuck it”.  I also want to say that I really hate doing that.  I have about a dozen ideas that I really want to make into a real thing, but I lack the skill, tools, and connections to make it work.  I know that you have to start somewhere, but these are just hobbies.  I’m not trying to make this a career.  How am I supposed to find folks that can does this if they aren’t expecting to make a profit?

That enough off all of that shit.  It’s time for something considerably more wholesome:

I love his little hat.

This is Maurice.  He is the supporting character in the picture book that I’m working on for my niece.  She is fantastic and I’m very proud of my dumb ass brother and his beautiful bride for birthing and rearing her.  While most of me is a bitter, evil, rusted, burnt piece of shit, there are still some slivers of love and warmth left in me.  I’d like to share the good that is left of me before life inevitably burns it to the core.

Back to Maurice.  That’s his name – for now.  I may come up with a better name, but I doubt it.  I know for certain that I couldn’t come up with a better front picture (though I’m sure I’ll refine it).  His profile needs some work.  It’s really odd and doesn’t evoke what I’m going for.  Big, doofy, funny, soft, and helpful.  He’s a very sweet monster.  The little smudge in the bottom-left corner is the main character, but that’s a few drafts ago.  I will probably update more on this as I make more progress.  This is a pretty difficult project, and it’s taking way longer than I thought it would, but I have to finish it.  I can’t say “Ah, fuck it” to this one.

tl;dr – Sorry I’m late, I beat Portal 2, other shit happened, here are some shitty sketches.

I feel reasonably certain that I can have that sex-type shit soon.  I’ve added a request from a friend.

 

THAT REMINDS ME!!! If you just found me, and how the fuck did you, go check out this dude – http://pragmaticasshole.wordpress.com/

You’ve probably seen him before.  He’s been all-up in this here internet for years and shit, but now he’s got a new blog and shit.  Check out his “100 Facts About Me” page.  That’s it.  Suck my nips.