My Kitchen Tools – Part 2

My Forrealzies Most Awesomeest and Incredible (if perhaps a bit improbable or of limitedly useful) Kitchen Tools:

5.  Immersion Blender – Actually, this hasn’t been super useful for me lately.  I just don’t make a lot of things that require that level of blending, but a friend of mine who lost a shitload of weight in half a year (and kept it off for the last two) says that mine is perfect for making great, healthy smoothies.  I’m not really a smoothie kind of guy, but every skinny person I know is.  Maybe I should be, too.

4.  Kevlar Gloves – What, you don’t have Kevlar gloves in your kitchen?  How else are you supposed to keep the Black Knight at bay?

3.  Olive Wood Cooking Spoon Set – This came from my Mom & her husband… or maybe his Mom?  I’m not 100% sure about this.  I should post a picture of the stuff up here.  They are truly beautiful and quite rad.  I find these pretty useful, but given my current cooking/eating habits, I’m mostly using my kitchen tongs or that shitty spatula I talked about yesterday.

2.  My cheap knock-of mandolin – If you’ve ever used one, then you know exactly what I mean.  It doesn’t get a whole lot of use, but it gets a lot done when it comes out.  It’s stupid how quick you can have perfect, uniform slices of so many vegetables.  You can shoestring potatoes, AND rip your fingertips off without even trying!!!  Why do you think I keep those gloves around?

1.  Fuckin’ Awesome Stand Mixer – I got this thing at a massively deep discount off of Amazon and paid for most of the rest of it with Amazon gift cards that I racked up from work.  Let me tell ya’, that’s how to live.  Anyway, the usefulness of this item is obvious, though it really only gets weekend use in my kitchen.  Still, it’s really fucking rad.

Seriously, I need to get me one of those Chinese cleavers.  And buttsex.  Which reminds me – calm down, ya’ll.  I’ll be back to dirty subjects and stupid drawing next week.  You know those things I said I’m working on?  Well… some of them are pretty close to done.