This is kinda… almost sorta a theme week. It’s all about the booty side of the internet. In yesterday’s thing, I admitted that I went to Craigslist to fish for a “muse”. I mentioned a few bits about how awesome the personals of that site are, and gave some very open suggestions to help find some. Did you find any? Well… here’s one:
Drawing Boobs – m4w – 28
I’ll level with you – I’m a little bit (lot a bit) drunk, and I’ve been drawing boobs. Lot’s of them. I have a reason, and it’s legit, but it’s also probably really boring. The thing is, they are really hard to draw. Additionally, I’m not a very good artist. I mean, really… size, roundness, bounciness, nipple position… it’s crazy-sauce. However, I am still trying to draw them for this thing, and they are still super-rad. Knockers are some of the greatest things on the planet, which is probably why they are so hard to sketch. I’ve tried nudes and porn, but it’s not the same as in person. Sweater kittens hold, fall, and move in very unique ways, and you really can’t simulate that. Squeezing them makes them even more differenty. Think I’m making this up? Try drawing them yourself right quick, and then talk smack.
Here’s what I want. Your boobs. Knockers. Sweater kittens. Jugs. Balloons. Melons. Face slappers. Racks. Jubblies. Bouncing Betties. Funsies. I want you to come to my crummy condo in Columbia where you’ll have to park on the street (because they tow for some reason) and hang out topless (or maybe completely nude?) so I can get a really good look at your yum-yums and acquire a bit of inspiration for my terrible sketchings. Let’s not be crazy and ignore things here – I’d also like to play with your lovely lady lumps (check it out) ’cause that would be rad. If you’re looking to do some naughty and maybe get an orgasm, I can absolutely accommodate. Not to brag, but I am very confident in my ability to give great oral sex. Frankly, I enjoy doing it. I also enjoy making out, in case that’s a thing. But that’s not why I’m on here. I’m on here to check out a nice pair and try to get all stupid arty with it. So if you DON’T want to do any naughty and DO want to show me your rack, that’s cool too. I feel so stupid even asking, but really, that’s what I’m trying to do. There’s no way that I don’t sound insane right now…sorry about that. Anyway, please reply to this post or text me at: [REDACTED]; if you might be down with coming to my place and showing off your lovelies.
What fuckin’ idiot would write such a, oh wait, it was me. And you know what? It worked. It worked very well. I got the funs that night, twice the next weekend, and almost worked this last weekend. I say almost because instead she teased me with some sexy pictures and naughty talk, but nothing happened. Maybe it will this weekend, but I no longer expect such things. That being said, at least one of those encounters could become a regular thing, but I gotta talk to her again before that offer ends.
tl;dr – I’m a dumbass and it works.
For the rest of the week, I’ll share another story or two and offer what little advice I can on what has and hasn’t worked in my endless sex journey. We’ll laugh, we’ll cry, we’ll jizz everywhere.