So I’ve been drawing boobs…

It’s not all that I’ve been drawing, but it is what I’ve been drawing the most of.  I’ve been drawing them while editing things at home.  I’ve been drawing boobs while watching cartoons.  I’ve been sketching tits when video games hit the loading screen.  I’ve got a graph pad of sweater kittens on top of the computer that I record 3 Guys on.  I have a few Post-It’s at my frickin’ work desk with knocker doodlings on it, and that’s not a good idea and may have been seen by an older woman from a different department (though I think I hid it before she saw… I hope).  I’ve been penning racks, big and small (mostly big), on any scrap of paper that I can get my hands on.

I should really back up and explain myself.  I’ve been working on some artwork and logos for Three Guys Walk Into a Bar – The Best Fucking Show on Unexpected Hiatus (sorry).  While I consider myself a decent amateur in a few disciplines, I recongnize that I’m not great at any art form.  More so, I’m really terrible at drawing.  Still, I think that one of the biggest pitfalls of art isn’t raw talent or ability, it’s lack of vision or artistic spirit.  I think our great artists had talent, skill, experience, artistic spirit, and “vision” in spades.  A lot of “artists” I know (friends and acquaintances that went to art school or no school/don’t work because they are doing arts) have amazing talent.  They are truly awesome in their ability to draw a thing.  However, they can’t come up with that thing to draw most of time.  It’s not just drawing, it’s all art styles of these artists that I know, even including music and stuffs.  Is a guitar player a musician if he only plays covers?  If a bassist can’t write her own music, I think I’d call her a “bass player”.  Or maybe a “performer” – which, by the way, is still amazing.  If you can draw what’s in front of you with photo clarity, then you are fuckin’ incredible (and should totally get paid for that), but are you an artist if you can’t create?  Can’t draw with variation?  Can’t conjure an image from just your mind?

Well, I don’t know about any of that last tangent, except that I am no artist and probably shouldn’t comment on it (though I will… ’cause I’m an ass).  What I do know is that I often have vision, but can’t bring it to paper (or strings, screen, majicks).  I think that just makes me a daydreamer… or maybe a piece of shit.  I’m not really sure.  Still, I wish we had some machine that I could just plug my brain into and upload the crazy shit that happens in there.  I think I’d make millions or shock the world (in the bad way).  Or I’d find out that everyone else has this shit in their heads and the skills part of art is far more important than any other part.  Wow, that would crush my spirit.  Whatever, I should really be focusing on getting back to Science as soon as possible.  I can actually feel myself wanting it.  FUCK.  I’m Tangenting again!  (heh heh)

Back to why I’m drawing boobs.  You know that “vision” thing I was talking about?  I kinda didn’t have it.  Actually, I’ve got a lot of great one.  I just don’t think they’d be appropriate as the album art in iTunes.  I clearly needed a different vision.  I went back to some of the exercises I would do in the few art classes I have taken.  The one that spawned the boobs was… hmm.  It has a name… but I can’t remember it.  From what I understand, it’s a common one, so maybe you know what it’s called.  You start by just writing down everything that has to do with the subject.  Single words only.  Nouns, verbs, adjectives, Tommyknockers, etc.  If you feel it describes or is somehow involved with the subject in a significant way, write it down.  Then you start sketching them out.  If it hasn’t already “clicked”, try sketching a collage or amalgam of some of the best stuff you’ve come up with.  Sooner or later, you’ll have your thing.  So I started writing down the things that have to do with Three Guys. info (you know, that rad show I was talking about) so that I could have a starting point for logo ideas.  It took a little to get started:

  • show
  • talk
  • ah…
  • music
  • um…
  • …uh
  • Alabama puppy fuck?…

Then I hit a massive vein of brain-nuggets:

  • sex
  • masturbation
  • boobs
  • cocks
  • ass
  • jugs
  • dicks
  • anal
  • blowjobs
  • tits
  • chicks
  • beer
  • booze
  • drinks
  • mouthhug
  • knockers
  • SHOTS! SHOTS! SHOTS! SHOTS! SHOTS! (totally one word)
  • violence
  • vileness
  • cumshot
  • dark
  • “shorteyes”
  • jokes
  • creampie
  • liquor
  • porn
  • liqueur
  • licker
  • mounds
  • titties
  • nipples
  • cleavage
  • orbs
  • bumps
  • cars
  • travel
  • stories
  • cooch…

And so on.  So I started sketching one of each of these items.  Most of those got erased or thrown away because they were god awful, but whatever.  I came to realize that about a handful (heh heh) of these are touched upon (also heh heh) on a regular basis on that show, and thus are just perfect for a Three Guys logo or banner.  Booze, music, violence, masturbation, and boobs.  Music, violence, and masturbation are a bit conceptual for me to draw at this point (not an artist).  I have some concepts in my head.  My “vision” is there, but I can’t possibly execute on them.  Booze and boobs, however, I can handle.  So I started drawing jugs.  My early knocker sketches were pretty terrible, and that could not stand, but I stuck with it.  I looked up tutorials and open source books on cartoon drawing and real life blah blah jizm blah.  So now I’ve drawn a whole bushel of breasts, and I’d like to share some with all of you.  It’s over in the NSFW page.  In case you’ve been living under a rock, that stands for “Not Safe For Work”.  If you aren’t worried about looking at poorly sketched tits at work, knock yourself out.  I didn’t slip in any real ones to trip people up, so go for it.  For everyone else, either wait to get home or check it out on your fancy dancy smart phone.  I should warn you, I haven’t tested out how my own site looks on a cell phone, so… it might not actually work at all.

tl;dr – I drew some tits, check them out over on the NSFW page.

By the way, if some of my sketches look familiar, it’s because I had to do some googling for tutorials and examples.  Many examples were “tasteful nudes” and some were other people’s sketches.  I tried not to directly bite anyone’s work, but like I said… I’m not very good.  So if you feel like I ripped you off – sorry.  But chill.  It’s just a pair of love muffins.  Calm down.

It’s going to be some low key, mundane stuff for a few posts, but I’m working on finishing my “Charts and Graphs” list.  You can expect that stuff… soon?  Next week is a special new thing.  You’ll see.