My Attraction Attributes Scale – Part 4: It’s All See Through, Like Ghosts ‘n Shit


I think I totally got off the rails with Part 1 around this part.  Let me see if I can rectify that.  Rectum.

Personality – I like a girl to be really together yet quirky.  That’s the best I can describe it.  A smart, educated, sharp, cool chick is great.  A weird chick is great (and I do recognize that I must be fuckin’ crazy for liking that).  A Sciency chick that plays video games, tries weird new foods, and has some odd personality quirk that she’s alright with me making fun of?  Fuckin’ perfect.

“Will/Can do” – This really only matters if it’s some kind of relationship thing.  Whether we’ve worked out a fuckbuddy thing or I’ve actually caved into a real dating situation.  Otherwise, it’s whatever.  “Friends with benefits” is not the same as a fuckbuddy, by the way.  Basically, if you read the list that I made in Part 1, that’s about right.  Actually, it’s kinda not.  I don’t care if she doesn’t cook or clean.  I cook, and I like my cooking.  I’d like to do halvesies on cleaning.  I’m sure there will be things we each do for each other that we’re not fond of.  Even friends do that shit for each other from time to time, and friends ain’t bumpin’ uglies.  I can’t imagine having, or even wanting to have a 100% interest paring.  I would want there to be things that I’m not into that she is and vice verse, which is a perfect opening for alone time and separate time.  These are similar but not the same.  Separate time is whenever you aren’t with your significant other – like when you hang with your friends or buzz around the local bar.  Alone time is separate time, but it’s just you.  Like a walk alone in the park or having the house to yourself for a while.  Both are just as important as together time, and that together time shouldn’t suck.  I like to game, camp, drink, and tinker.  My ideal super-hot chick by this category would be into those kinds of things enough to at least hang around while I do them.  Hand me a tool if I’m asking.  I’ll hand you a… I don’t know what chicks do these days, but I’ll hand you a whatever it is you need while you’re doing it.  Chicks sure as shit don’t sew, ‘cause who the fuck needs anything sewn these days?  Man, we are a spoiled, lazy, shitty people.

“Will Do” Sexual – That Part 1 list is a good start.  I really screwed up my writing of that part, but whatev’s.  Maybe I’ll clean it up later.  I’m not going to list everything here, but I think you’ll get the gist when I say that I wanna knock the bottom out without it being a hassle.  I’m sure I’ve mentioned this before (The Aaron Plan), but I think that most sex sessions should be under about ten minutes.  Reliable studies have shown that the average male can swing about 2 – 7 minutes of pure intercourse.  This is 2 – 7 from when cock goes into pusspuss and the ol’ in-out-in-out takes place.  It doesn’t count foreplay, blowjays, titjobs, handies, huffpuffs, razzles, motorboating, facesitting, choking, squeezin’ buns, squeezin’ boobs, bum plumbing, hotdog-bunning, or the after-snuggle.  So 2 – 7 of straight bangin’.  That seems both pretty low and pretty high, especially when those same studies show that a large portion of females can take upwards of a full hour to please through intercourse.  Maybe that seems like a long time if you are one of smaller portion of women that only need about 3 – 8 minutes.  Wouldn’t it be great to meet one of those ladies, right?  HIGH FIVE!  Sooner or later, I’ll get into some of the research I’ve been reading (and generating… heh heh), but I think a measured frequency with some assortment of rad, spontaneous boot-knocking is excellent.  A good couple of 2 – 10 minute sexual encounters (that don’t have to be intercourse) and one fantastic hour-or-more session (with all the bells and whistles) would be the digs, and I’d love it if she would take it up her buns on a regular basis.

Chemistry, I fuckin’ guess – At least share a significant amount of my sense of humor.

tl;dr – there’s a lot of shit that goes into attractiveness, and I wanna bang your butt.

Let’s give this subject a rest for a few posts and reconvene with some kind of something (I’m actually working on that chart thing, but we’ll see what happens and shit).  Next up?  I don’t know… maybe a list?  Something about video games?