I find the very concept of attraction to be infinitely intriguing. There are different kinds of attraction, different reasons to be attracted to a person/place/thing, and different factors that add or detract from your overall attraction to said jazz. Even when delving into my own personal attraction to the fairer sex, I am often surprised at what I find. The biggest oddities are usually when a factor that tends to be ignored suddenly becomes a big deal for me (like if I find a hairstyle super-hot, as I usually don’t give a fuck about your dumb hairstyle). When I delve into the attraction that others feel, I find that we tend to have a lot in common. However, the things we don’t have in common are profound.
I’m no genius. Trust me, I had trouble spelling that. I’m not a researcher, I’m not running a survey, and I don’t have a grant. I’ve been reading through some of the studies (frivolously) researched and published by universities, think tanks, and various respected Scientists and researchers. I’ve come across some bat-shit crazy things, much of which being explained well enough for a laymen to understand (though often mis-explained or poorly analyzed).
I’m gunna jack around with all of that. The plan is to take my interest in this and figure out some kinda… something. I don’t know, dudes, I’m still working on it all. I’m up to about four and a half posts in daft on this subject, and I need to post one of them to give myself some sort of direction. Alright, let’s start with what I’m looking at. I’m going to define some terms (that I make up/assign according to my own thinky, not any of the official jimjams), and expand from there. Here we go:
UPDATE: I forgot eyebrows, and am adding that in now. Thanks go to reader Thunderbunny37. Check out her blog.
I’ll talk about the physical part of the women first, not because I find it to be the most important. On the contrary, I agree with the sentiment that personality goes a long way. Personality maybe even wins over all else, but I put the physical first because I seem to have the best grasp of it. Both in understanding my likes and dislikes, and in how to describe those things.
Face – Literally just the face. This can be tough, as the face is easily and often altered and augmented by other factors (make up, piercings, etc.)
Hair – Literally the hair itself, which is tied directly (though not the same as) hairstyle
Eyes – Not the stuff around the eyes, though I recognize that eye shadow and even a sweater can confuse this item
Eyebrows – I care so little about your eyebrows. I don’t know any guys who ever ever mention eyebrows as an attraction factor, so I’m not likely to even bring them up in my likes/dislikes. Here’s what I wrote at Thunderbunny37:
“Her:… You should also mention eyebrows.
Me: That’s a good point. I only notice them if they are crazy perfect, crazy gross, or just plain crazy.
I think I’m going to use that line.
Her: Eyebrows make a chick very self concious.
If you’re in between a waxing you swear everyone is staring.
Me: Yeah, and that’s kinda odd to me”
FYI – I’m not staring.
Complexion – Maybe this is a bit too blanket of a term, but I’m using it to cover skin color, tone, shade, consistantly, etc.
Boobs – You know, those things. They’re rad, stop pretending that they aren’t. Size, perkiness, roundness/fullness, firmness, cleavage, “radness”, proportion.
Buns – And yes, if your sweats have a word back there, I’m going to use that as an excuse to check it all out. Same basic stuff as boobs, though there’s a subset of firmness that I can only think to call “tightness”. ‘Cause a big-ol’ ass can be great, but if its like Jell-o, I don’t dig it. I’ve seen a small ass that was Jell-o like, and it was fuckin’ strange.
Legs – Length, width, etc.
Back & Shoulders – This is a lot more difficult to understand, but I think that we all know when we see some of this that we don’t like
Midsection – Size, firmness, proportion, definition.
Other (nails, hands, feet, etc.) – This isn’t the style of the nails, by the by. More like if the nails are gross or nonexistent, that can totally ruin a chick. I generally ignore (or at least take for granted) this stuff. I am neither into nor disgusted by feet. I’m not into hand jobs and I realize that just about everyone probably has an old scar on a hand or foot. I’ve dated dancers before, and their feet are fucking atrocities. It’s fine, as long as they aren’t as gross as bound feet. Those are unacceptable. Sorry if you got ’em, but your parents screwed. Hands mostly don’t matter either. Assuming you don’t have man-hands or some kind of flipper, no big deal. If you lost a hand or foot, I’m not gunna lie, it does matter. But a missing hand is much less of an issue than a claw. Hot chick that’s missing a hand? I’m still down.
Generally speaking, style matters the absolute least to me. That being said, now is a good time to reiterate that any one thing could put me over the edge on a chick – positive or negative. With style, it’s usually just the final push that my relative attraction or lack there of needs to decide.
Hairstyle – Directly ties to the hair itself, but can sometimes trump it. Generally speaking, your hair doesn’t matter to me. That’s for you and your girls to get too excited over. This isn’t always true. If the hair is styled in a way that shows off or accentuates a rad thing about your face, cool. It’s not really the hair that I’m looking at, but the hair helps. If your hair is hot pink and blue raspberry colored, that could also be cool. It’s hard to say why, I just know that it is.
Clothes/shoes – I put these together, though I know that most women and fashion conscience men would likely have every aspect be separate. I tend to find that people have one, consistent style across all of their clothes and shoes. Most t-shirt and jeans chicks have one or two knock-out dresses hidden in the back of their closet. Most “Plastics” have a shitty pair of jeans and an old t-shirt for gardening and chores. I’ll bet it is rare that a “Plastic” just happens to have an Emo wardrobe. I’d also bet that few Goths have some “pretty-preps” outfits that they put on from time to time. I’m not saying there aren’t any, but that it isn’t typical.
Accessories – I think this tends to go with the clothes/style, but some chicks put all of their style into their accessories. They dress Target but carry Prada. By the by – I don’t find that hot. I assume that it was either a gift or that your priorities are all fucked up. Your earrings only make you special to your friends. I’m probably never going to notice your brooch, and if I notice your necklace it’s probably because it is obnoxious.
Makeup – I don’t have anything against makeup, but I tend to prefer not knowing that it is there. I don’t really think that lip balm counts, but pretty much anything more than that probably counts. Makeup can hot up a chick if it’s crazy. Like Goth Chicks, Emos, and Scene Girls. On a normal girl, I find eye shadow a little strange. Not necessarily bad, but could go bad easily.
Accent – No, I don’t mean highlights. I mean your speaky talky. I put it under style ’cause I don’t really know where else it belongs, and it isn’t really intangible (in this sense). I don’t find any one accent immediately sexy, and often find French and German accents a turn off. Bavarian accents are rad. Some of the British accents are hot, but not Welsh. Irish and Scottish are usually hot on a lady. Japanese-, Chinese-, and Korean-American are sexy. Indian-Londoner is super-hot. I find Kiwi accents sexier than Aussie, but both are good. Some of the Latina accents are sexy, but I haven’t heard enough to know which is which. I do know that girls from Mexico City sound very different from girls from Monterrey, and both sound extremely different from the Portuguese language based accents (Brazilian). I could go on for days about this, and might in a future post.
This is the stuff that can’t directly be seen or heard. Actually, that’s a terrible definition… but fuck if I know how to give a better one. You know – who are you? What’s your deal? I find that most of this really only matters with relationships (whether fo-realzies or a friends with benefits situation), but can quickly become an issue with one night stands.
Personality – This is often (though not always) projected by style, at least the surface part. In other words, we all kind of prejudge each other at least a little (and sometimes accurate) by how we look. If I see an Emo chick, I can expect you to be all emotional. I can also expect them to really fuckin’ get into a make-out session. I love that stuff. Plastics are often vapid. Preppy black chicks tend to like Country music (which is odd), and Goth black chicks tend to be into anime, metal, and video games (which I don’t find odd at all). But that’s a shallow look at it all. It’s really everything from introvert/extrovert, general demeanor, taste, quirks, etc. This is almost certainly too blanket of a subsection, but I’ll give it another once over before I wrap up this whole thing. Just keep in mind that while I am really into video games and Science, I might find a chick with the same interests to be really annoying. I assume this is the same for most people. Spontaneousness is overblown. Not that I don’t dig it from time to time, but a girl that plans and stays on top of shit is better. A super together chick that sometimes does shit out of the blue, now that’s rad.
“Will/Can do” – Dishes, cooking, cleaning, taking out the trash, helping me fix a hole in my wall, sharing hobbies, help (or at least hang out) while I dick around with car maintenance/repair, fish, camp, gussy-up for an opera and fine meal, force me to go out when I know I should but really don’t want to, goes out and stays in on a whim, willingness to try new things (especially food and drink), etc.
“Will Do” Sexual – This is what you like and what you’re willing to do in a sexual situation. I suppose that this is also what you have done. If you’re willing to give buttsecks a try, I’m gunna dig you a little more. If you’re a total skank, I’m gunna like you a bit less. If you won’t even consider giving a BJ or getting crazy somewhere, you’re too boring for me. If you let some dude take a shit on your chest, please don’t talk to me. Ever. The fuck is wrong with you.
Chemistry, I fuckin’ guess – There’s no real way to define this, no matter how many times Cosmo tries. If we click, then that’s it. Sometimes the click includes some amount of friction. Some times it don’t.
tl;dr – there’s a lot of shit that goes into attractiveness, and I dig anal.
So much more to come on all of this. Next up – what I like and dislike in these areas.