But it’s not what you’re thinking. You see, a bunch of chums and I went to Fogo de Chao andsucked a bunch of cocks enjoyed delicious beef, lamb, pork, chicken, and the non-green parts of the “salad” bar. It was glorious, and I definitely got my money’s worth, but I wish I’d had enough room for a few other items. I wasn’t very strategic in this visit. I wanted to try the little lamb chops and the bacon-wrapped pork. I had them in the D.C. location, and they were so-so. Just too salty, and I like salty. We went to the Baltimore Fogo this time, and I wanted to see if there was a difference. However, I was stuffed by the time I even saw the chops and never spotted any pork other than the ribs. Oh well, it’s not like it’s a real problem. That’s a bullshit middle-class problem. Anyway, the visit was fantastic and now my insides are stewing and preparing to murder my toilet.
A toilet which, by the by, has a broken toilet seat. Oddly enough, it isn’t broken because I’m a fat piece of shit (though I am one). It’s broken because I was trying to do too many things at one time and dropped some heavy-assed shit from about ceiling level directly on-top of it. It’s just a crack, but it’s unsightly and I’m afraid it will pinch my soft, supple bottom. I will replace it, but not today. Too much meat in me (HA!). I’ve also become fed up with the ol’ jiggle-the-handle-game to keep it from running, so I’m going to replace the toilet’s guts. I’ve been shopping around and found that those double-flush flappers are pretty cheap. I think they’re called double-flush flappers, I really don’t know. They seem smartly efficient. One button for a light flush, one for heavy, and sturdy looking parts. No stupid-ass chain.
tl;dr – Pricey meat, toilet troubles, fuck your flapper.
New car still pending.
Just for wanks and jeckles, let’s have us a little game that I stole from radio shows. I’ve heard it called many things, but most recently “Rock Busters” by my favorite buffoon on the internets. Three bands, one simple clue each. Just guess the bands.
Example – “A number of women in a furious mood” = “Violent Femmes”
Email your answers to email@example.com – first to get all three (or whoever I feel like) wins a prize. I don’t know the prize yet, and it might just be a rape you thank you note or some original and poorly drawn arts havings.
Name That Band!!!
1. THE + LaVare Burton refused to go by “Toby”
2. Official ruler of the United Kingdom
3. Bound Fairy Tale Protagonist